Memories can haunt to the point of pleasure or pain. But when they collide with your present they can be irresistible. That is my foremost fear on this hot July night, sitting in this local club that we frequented in our past. I'd heard you were back, heard you were asking about me. I have evaded you for days now, but I know that will end tonight. I've been here a couple of hours now reminiscing, watching the bodies in motion on the dance floor and, almost like a dream, memories came flooding in. I remember watching you dance for hours in this very club. My mouth would become so dry from wanting that I felt my thirst could never be appeased. Then you would gyrate your hips, draw my attention to the unsubtle bulge in your worn jeans, and my mouth would water from the same wanting.
A roar of laughter rose up during the friendly banter around the crowded table, dragging me out of the past. Opening my mind to the conversation taking place, I leaned back in my chair laughing at the playful taunts between friends. At that moment you walked in; our gazes collided and my laughter died, unnoticed by my friends.
Just your entrance caused my bones to turn to kindling to feed the burning fire just your presence ignites in me. It is truly endlessly fascinating the effect that you have on me. It never weakens. No matter how much time passes my body still reacts as it did the first time we met. I will fight it. I will resist you this time.
You'd come in later than I expected and surprisingly alone. Your dark hair was somewhat unruly, as though windblown. Soft leather pants, worn ankle boots and a white button down, with one too many buttons open. Even totally relaxed, your hands in your pockets, a slightly cocky grin on your face, some air of dominance still lingered around you. I could see it. I could feel it.
Without taking your eyes from mine, you crossed the room, skirting crowded tables and mingling groups. You had me by the arm, drawing me to my feet before the rest of the crowd at the table could address you. You didn't allow the presence of my escort for the evening, sitting at my side, prevent you from holding my gaze. You didn't even acknowledge her. I'd brought a date thinking it would have made difference, but I should have known better.
"Let's dance." You formed the command in the most laid-back tone, almost pleasant, but I knew better.
I knew that I would have to make my decision quickly. To refuse would have incited confrontation or questions. Too many questions that I didn't have the answers to. To agree meant I could no longer avoid you. "I'd love to," I replied coolly and allowed you to guide me to the dance floor.
When we reached the dance floor, I went into your arms as though you had never been away. It was all too familiar. The way the top of my head rested at your throat. The curves of my body so naturally forming to yours. That intoxicating smell that was so you. The immediate ache in my body.
"You've been avoiding me, Amanda."
I didn't see any point in lying. "Yes."
"Knowing that, I honestly didn't expect you to come so willingly."
Your firm body and my memories manipulating me, I responded without censor. "I don't know how anyone could be immune to you. A former lover doesn't stand a chance if they allow the memories?" I realized my mistake too late.
"So you do remember my touch?" Your lips grazed my temple as you very slowly, very deliberately rolled you hips, reminding me. "Have you missed it?" I felt your knowing smile as your lips touched my forehead.
I hid my face in your shoulder and bit my bottom lip to stifle the moan I'm sure you felt. Self preservation kicking in, I reminded myself that I knew you as well as you knew me, so I tried to use it to hold you off. "This is a little overkill even for you, isn't it, Alex? No 'how have you been' or 'I missed you'. Just straight to the game of seduction."
You tensed slightly and hesitated in step to the song, causing a self-satisfied smile on my face. But you recovered quickly, charmingly so. "Well, I did plan it a little more tactfully, and maybe it would have been easier to stick to my schedule if you weren't still so damned beautiful. If you'd only changed somehow."
Glaring up at you, I had to hide a small smile. "Forgive me for not accommodating you."
"You're forgiven," you murmured as you skimmed your lips along my jaw line to my ear. "I know several ways you can make it up to me."
It took a great deal of effort to remind myself that I was in a club full of people with a date sitting at the table, watching. It took even more effort not to yield to the hunger growing swiftly in me. "Let's not make a scene," I whispered harshly as I pushed at your shoulders, seeking some distance from that talented mouth.
Your hands skimmed up and down my back seemingly to calm, but when I looked up into your eyes the sensation was anything but calming. Words weren't necessary; your expressive gray eyes spoke volumes. It was always next to impossible to resist what I saw in your eyes. Uncomfortable with the notion, I averted my eyes quickly, but not before I caught a flicker of a smile. You knew I would see your intentions. You wanted me to see.
"I need to get back to my friends." As the last verse of the song started, I lowered my brow to your shoulder, mumbling, "Thanks for the dance."
Ignoring my words, you pulled me firmly against you as the song segued to another slow song. I groaned inwardly, thinking, I, of all people know fate has a sick sense of humor, but I had to assume it was having a really good laugh at the moment.
"Do you remember the last time we were here, Amanda?" I shivered as your breath feathered intimately at my ear.
I closed my eyes tightly, forcing my mind to stay in the present, determined not to remember. I knew I had to get away from your touch. With your hands on me, I knew I could only resist you, resist myself, for so long. As long as I was in your arms the outcome was inevitable. I tried to pull away as I said brokenly, "I have?to go, Alex."
Ignoring my words once again, silently refusing to free me, you continued with that mesmerizing voice, "We sat at the table in the back corner." You nuzzled my cheek with yours. "Do you remember?"
Resigned to the fact you would not release me, I ceased struggling for the moment. "I remember."
"You wore the same perfume you're wearing now." You breathed in as you tasted my neck. "It was an unforgettable night, Amanda."
I know you could feel me trembling. The fight between mind and body, between pride and lust, was killing me. I could feel tears of frustration stinging my eyes, but I was determined not to let them fall. I renewed my efforts to free myself as I breathed, "That was a long time ago, Alex."
Your mouth continued seeking small tastes of my flesh. "Do you remember what we did when we left?"
I sucked in a sharp breath as your nibbling reached my ear. Your behavior and your questions were tossing my mind from past to present, present to past, neither place safe at the moment, so I continued to struggle. "I hate you for this, Alex."
You ignored my hateful words, pressed me to you, forced me to sway to the soft slow music. "Come with me, Amanda. Come with me, now." I could feel your fingers under my shirt, teasing the small of my back, as you tried to take my mouth with yours.
Avoiding your lips, I whispered, "I can't."
"Won't," you countered, harshly. "Maybe I should ask your new friend for some pointers." You used your head to gesture toward my table. "She looks like she would like to talk about now," you snarled as you started to step around me.
I looked over my shoulder at the table in time to see a friend coach my date back to her seat. I put both my hands on your chest to stop you. I couldn't allow my weakness to affect the people whose only fault at the moment was caring for me. "She has nothing to do with this, Alex." I shoved my finger into your chest several times. "This is your game. You might be able to force me to play it, but you will leave my friends out of it."
The truth of my words stopped your momentum, but you remained silent. I was surprised to see the gray of your eyes had turned to ice. I had never seen jealousy in your eyes before that night and I pray never to see it again, because of the pain it created in my heart.
On impulse I lifted my hand to your cheek and my voice softened. "Just promise you'll leave them out of this." When your gray eyes lightened at my words, I knew I still held my own power over you so I gently pressed, "Promise me, Alex."
"All right. You have your promise. But, tell me, Amanda, does she really know you?" You took my face into the palm of your hands. "Does she know how to make you laugh?" You skimmed your thumb over my lips. "How to make you feel?" You slid your fingers through my hair locking them behind my neck, forced your thigh between my legs and ground the fullness in your leather pants against me. "Make you moan?"
"Don't?" I gasped, fighting for air, as I pushed roughly against you, letting my emotions rule all. No way was I going to give you the satisfaction of knowing that I had known no other touch since yours. The thought made me sad, then extremely angry, before the desperate need to escape past and present took over. "That is none of your business. Not anymore. You gave up that right." Turning sharply, I managed to rip myself out of your grasp, before fighting my way through the dancers, heading for the exit. I shoved open the door, darted into the sultry night air remembering that I hadn't driven that night. Swearing, I rounded the corner of the club, into the alley before you caught up to me and whirled me around to face you. Before I could gather myself, I swung out blindly, slapping you.
"All right. I probably deserved that," you said between clenched teeth as you locked both my arms behind my back. "But I didn't give up that right, Amanda. You took it away."
Temper rising, I stopped struggling and stared up at you. I took short quick breaths to try to control the tremor in my voice. "You can't do this to me. Let go of my arms."
Your eyes slowly roamed my face, but you said nothing, further infuriating me.
I tossed my head to free my eyes from my hair. "For God's sake, Alex, let me go!"
"I already made that mistake once," you said softly. "I won't make it again in this lifetime."
I blinked several times, shocked by the calm confession.
"I will have you, Amanda. I have to have you." That silky voice as restraining as the strongest of arms held me prisoner. "I'm going to spend all night enjoying watching you give yourself to me," you continued without taking your eyes from mine.
Before I could respond your mouth crushed mine. Arms free now I knew I should resist, but I felt drugged instantly by the taste of you. Helpless to stop, I gave in to it, knowing the first taste was never enough for me. Suddenly greedy, I threaded my fingers through your hair, fisted them, pulling you closer. Taking control of the kiss I probed deeper into your mouth wanting to taste all of you. I would curse you and myself later for my weakness, but at that moment time had melted away and only we existed.
It was your low moan of desperation that penetrated my desire-clouded mind, freeing me to end the kiss, abruptly. I stepped away a few steps in retreat, physically and mentally, before you even opened your eyes. I retreated a couple of more steps when you opened them. The change in your eyes, your body language was perilously evident.
Obviously impatient with me now and I'm sure more than a little frustrated, you turned your back before the familiar pacing began. "Damn it, Amanda. How long are you going to stay pissed at me?"
"I haven't decided yet." Going from almost fearful to amused made it difficult to keep my mask in place, when all I wanted to do was giggle. Watching you lose that perfect control of yours was always such a sight. I secretly smiled, wondering how sick it was to think how attractive even frustration is on you.
"You're making me feel like a real ass, Amanda."
"You've always been able to manage that quite well on your own."
Your lip twitched slightly, trying to control a grin. "Touché, sweetheart, but don't you think I've been punished enough?"
I narrowed my eyes, glaring at you. "You could never be punished enough."
You smiled charmingly, spreading your arms wide and fell back against the wall of the club. "Punish me as long as you like, so long as you touch me."
Your antics were always so disarming. I couldn't help the small laugh. "You are incorrigible."
"So you have always told me, but I have faith in you. You will reform me?control me, as only you can."
My eyes roamed up and down the body you were so boldly offering. My eyes came to rest on the leather covered package between your legs. "I see you still enjoy your toys."
You dropped your arms and smiled. "Yes. But the real question is do you still enjoy my toys?"
"You can't really expect us to just pick up where we left off." I shook my head showing my disbelief. "Your arrogance always astounded me, but this is ridiculous. Do you really think I'm just going to give myself to you? Tonight?"
You pushed off the wall, approached me slowly and stopped short of touching. "We need to resolve this and we can't do that with you avoiding me." You inclined your head and tried for an innocent smile. "Don't you agree?"
Thinking the danger of my relinquishing control had past, I felt a little more generous. "We can talk, Alex."
Innocent smile gone, you licked your lips suggestively. "Eventually."
Giving you a narrow-eyed look, I mustered the most scolding tone I could manage. "Alex?"
Your lips spread into that irresistible sexy grin and my will started crumbling immediately. "Okay, Alex. What exactly is it that you want?"
You moved into me, slid your arms around my waist, brought your mouth teasingly close before whispering so seductively, "I want to pleasure you."
My mind flashed to the first time I heard those words from your lips. My eyes closed of their own accord, my body suddenly weak, and my mind clouded with memories of the pleasures of that first night. I moaned in reminiscent pleasure, lost in the past.
"I want you naked."
You opened the first few buttons at the top of my shirt, one at a time, letting your fingertips graze my flesh as you moved slowly from one to the next, exposing a filmy chemise. The hot night had a sheen of sweat on my breasts despite the thin chemise. Still reminiscing, I made no move to stop your clever fingers.
"I want you breathing my name."
My eyes shot open, shocked by your shameless nerve as your fingers slowly trailed down my neck, across my throat, glided slowly to my chest. My breath caught in my throat as your thumb delicately circled my nipple achingly slowly. My suddenly heavy lids closed as my body yielded to the memorable touch. "Please, don't do this," I whispered, wrapping my fingers gently around your wrist, refusing you.
With a violent flick of your wrist, my thin transparent chemise became nothing more than a piece of useless ruined material. While your mouth was at the curve of my neck now marking me on a very receptive spot, you circled my rapidly rising nipple once more, before flicking a blunt nail across the sensitive point. Then your wet tongue went from my neck to my nipple, cooling the ache the fingernail inflicted.
I could feel your triumphant smile spread against my skin, as I whimpered your name, while fisting my hands in your shirt in an attempt to anchor myself. I wanted to be angry with you for knowing my weaknesses so well and for enjoying exploiting them. I wanted to be angry with myself for being so reluctantly aroused and for allowing you this much power over me. I wanted to be angry because I was standing in an alley, but there was no room for another emotion in me other than the one you demanded.
"I want you breathless."
Your mouth took mine ruthlessly, exploring and tasting all I had to offer. We dueled for control, but when you sucked my tongue into your mouth the duel ended. When I surrendered, you gave me a slight reprieve by nibbling on my lips, before deepening the kiss once again. You devoured my mouth until I was, in fact, truly breathless.
Your breathing as tattered as my own, you slid two fingertips gently across the warm dampness of my cheek, allowing them to come to a stop on my lips. The fingers slowly, softly skimmed my lips before gently probing. I shuddered as I tried to catch my breath before opening my eyes. Hesitantly, my lips parted to take your fingers, sucking them in to the wet heat of my mouth.
Your gaze dropped to my mouth, your brow arched, as your fingers moved leisurely in my mouth, thoroughly soaking your fingers.
"Ah, yes. I want you wet."
Already wet, the overtone of your meaning was enough to cause a new flow of wetness to already uncomfortable underclothes. Warning bells going off in my head telling my body that I had to stop this were ignored as I reached for you.
"I want you helpless."
You moved fast, the only signal was a sudden change in your eyes, before your hands cuffed my wrists against the club's brick wall.
The shock of hitting the wall knocked the breath out of me, paralyzing me momentarily. I knew it was futile, but I fought the restraint nonetheless. You were larger, taller, stronger and we both knew it.
"I want you wanting."
Shifting my hands above my head, you locked my wrists in one hand. With your free hand, you flipped open the button of my jeans, lowered the zipper so teasingly slowly, slid your hand down under the lace of my panties and stopped.
I groaned and tried to evade your touch at first, but you ran your fingertips tenderly over me, causing me to arch into your hand only to be denied by fingers hovering just out of my reach. I chanted your name, hoping for mercy that didn't come.
"I want you writhing."
Your mouth began to travel down me, sliding your tongue along my neck, scraping your teeth against the side of my breast while your fingers now danced at my entrance. I know you could feel the pulse in my wrist quicken as my blood raced through me fast and furious. The lower you went down my body, the more your grip loosened on my wrists, so I arched my back, twisted, trying to free my hands. "Let go, Alex. I want?to touch you."
"No. Not yet," you mumbled against my breast.
I continued my useless struggle, continued to writhe under your unrelenting fingers and mouth. Suddenly your fingers stroked me firmly and my hips jerked only to have your fingers again quickly pulled out of reach. A sound between a whimper and a moan fought to escape my tight throat.
"I want you begging."
You slowly made your way back up my body, tormenting with teeth, tongue and lips, along the way. Once face-to-face, you insisted that I open my tightly closed eyes. Your arousal-darkened gray eyes never leaving mine, you teased my mouth with yours, but wouldn't allow me to taste you. I hooked my leg behind yours, trying to pull you to me, but you ignored it and continued the relentless teasing with fingers and mouth. You slightly entered me, only to withdraw, weakening me further.
I thought about fighting, but my yearning, my lust, oh Jesus, my need was stronger than my pride. "Please?" You only smiled and started pulling away. I locked my leg tighter around you as my body tried to follow yours, sweet anticipation of release my only thought. "Jesus, Alex!" On a heavy sigh, I whispered, "All right, Alex. I give." I searched your mischievous eyes and saw that you wanted more. "You win, Alex."
Removing your hand from my aching center, you started chuckling when I whimpered and tried to stop you. "Amanda." Possessively, you ran your hand over my hair, before allowing your fingers to linger through the stands. "That is not begging." My breath hitched when your hand fisted hard in my hair. "That's conceding?.surrendering. Granted, it's beautiful, but it's not what I want and you know it."
I can't say exactly when it happened, when I had fallen wildly in love with you. I can't say how it happened despite my determination to prevent it. I'd like to think it was the first time I saw the way you looked at me. But I did know the moment when I finally admitted it to myself. Right then and there. I couldn't deny it anymore than I could deny you. I needed your touch at that moment as much as I needed the air to breath. We had played similar games in the past and I knew I wasn't going to get what I wanted, what my body needed, until you got what you wanted. I knew you expected me to beg you to take what I had earlier denied you. You would have what you had demanded and more. I drew in a shuddering breath. "Please Alex?I'm begging." I let the breath out slowly. "I want you?Alex. Take what you want." I closed my eyes tightly and pulled against your restraining hands once more hoping you would release me. I was disappointed once again. "Take?what is yours, Alex. Now, please?"
I focused in time to watch your eyes change quickly. The emotion I saw run through them caused my heart to thunder. There was shock, there was confusion, then a quick intense flash of adoration before conquest accompanied by a smirk. With air ripping in and out of your chest, you growled out, "I want you screaming...now"
The hunger in your eyes and the intense edge to your voice only added to my craving. My mouth reached for your lips, but you continued only to tease. Your lips skimming my neck, my ear, and my jaw line. You would only nibble my lips or lightly kiss the corners of my mouth. Struggling to breathe, my trapped hands opening and closing, helplessly, I could only gasp your name.
You secured my leg more firmly behind yours, before returning the teasing fingers to where I desperately needed them. Our eyes locked as you plunged deep inside me with one hard thrust. Finally granting me your mouth, swallowing my endless scream, you went deeper with each thrust. You had driven me slowly, thoroughly, to the edge and left me there to linger so long and now to be brought to peak so abruptly, I brutally went over the edge and poured into your hand instantly.
"I want you, Amanda," you whispered in my ear as I collapsed in your arms.