DISCLAIMERS:
COPYRIGHT: Cass and Rox are figments of my imagination... Yep - I created them all by my 'lil ole self. They do resemble a certain warrior and bard in appearance, and maybe even in mannerisms, but other than that, they are original creations, and are Copyright, 1999 by kd bard. Character or name resemblance to 'real' people currently living or dead is completely coincidental. Download it, print it out and share it if you'd like, but be sure to include the disclaimers.
SUBTEXT: This story is alternative in nature. If you don't know what that means, then you really need to find out before you start reading. The ladies in this story meet and really like each other ... I mean ... they REALLY, REALLY, REALLY like each other. This story does contain some mildly graphic sex scenes. If you're offended by this statement, then you'll be offended by the story. If you're not old enough to be here, then please go find some Disney stories to read. If love is illegal where you live, I strongly suggest you move.
VIOLENCE: Domestic violence plays a focal part of this story. If you are currently in an abusive situation... please get out now! Abuse is a crime that can not be tolerated... stop the cycle with yourself or someone you love.
TIME LINE/CONTINUITY: This is a brand new alternative fan fiction, set in modern day time, starring a couple of new leading ladies. This story can be found on my home page at http://homepages.together.net/~warriorx/WebPage.htm along with a host of other good stories. Enjoy!
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I strongly believe that love is love, regardless of how it is packaged, so please don't flame me for believing in something so wonderful. All flames will be immediately extinguished by a tour through the city's sewer pipes, however, I do beg for constructive criticism. Send all feedback to warriorx@together.net.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS: A very big thanks to those of you who took the time to find my booboo's ... Mom, Marn, Mel, Ili, Beck, Rosa. I really appreciate it - you've saved me once more from looking like a literary idiot! Thanks to Little Warrior for listening to my disjointed rambling while I worked through the hard parts, and for helping me practice... ah... ah... I mean, proof the really 'good' parts (^^). Special thanks to Ili for providing the Spanish translations (the English versions are provided in brackets []). Finally, a warm thank you to MQ and BG for their technical wisdom and spiritual guidance.
SPECIAL THANK YOU TO READERS: I want to thank all of you for your patience while I have laboriously worked out this story. I know it has been customary for me to post stories on a more frequent basis, but my life has gone through drastic changes over the past few months... changes that are largely good, but traumatic, nonetheless. A new love has entered my life ... a love that has given me the courage to express my true heart ... a love that will endure for the rest of our lives. I love you my Little Warrior. An old love has left ... the end to a lesson well learned. Family illness, and unprecedented family love ... all of this has worked to change my life in ways I can not describe. Thank you all. kd :-)
CHAPTER I
"Now, let's see, Alien Insurrection, Planet of Lost Souls, Galaxy Ten ... Hey, what's this?" Cass commented as she removed the volume in question from the shelf and read the title. "Stargazer II, humph, interesting title," she said as she opened the book and read the inside sleeve. "Sounds like the name of a space ship. Let's see what the cover says ... 'Part II of a tale of bittersweet love ... human meets alien ... falls in love ... yadda, yadda, yadda, struggle to fit into each other's worlds ... for more information on the author, see the back sleeve and cover'," she finished reading before opening the back cover of the book. "Roxanne Ward, native New Englander, living on the seacoast of Maine, author of several best selling science fiction novels, including Starflight and Stargazer. Ms. Ward brings her own brand of romance to the science fiction arena ... must read novels ... romance interlaced with mystery and intrigue."
Cass closed the book and looked at the cover once more. It was black with stars shooting outward from the center. Stargazer II was listed in bold silver letters across the top of the page. Sounds interesting, Cass thought. But not much good without Part I. Holding the book in her hand, she searched the shelf for Stargazer . After ten minutes, she came up empty. "Damn!" she said under her breath. Oh well, she thought, reaching forward to return Stargazer II to the shelf. I'll look in the bookstore in San Jose tomorrow, she thought.
As she was returning the book to the shelf, the back cover caught her eye. Retrieving the book once more, she turned it over in her hands and looked at it. There, staring up at her, was the most magnificent pair of emerald green eyes she had ever seen. Cass felt her heart lurch in her chest. The nearly translucent eyes were set in a wholesome face, framed by a pixie cut mane of red-gold hair. The eyes smiled up at her as she took in china doll features, slightly upturned nose, full lips bent into a crooked smile, rosy cheeks, and bright sparkle emanating from the depths of green.
"Wow!" Cass said out loud, oblivious to the odd looks she was receiving around her. "Be still my beating heart!" she commented audibly, as a flush rose into her face.
She stood there for several long moments staring at the picture, until she was shaken out of her trance by a firm hand on her arm. "Hey lady, if you ain't gonna buy it, then hand it over. I've been lookin' for that sequel for some time now," the voice said.
Cass looked at the man. "Ah ... Yes, I'm buying it, sorry," she said as she forced her feet to move in the direction of the register.
Cassidy Marie Conway, what are you getting yourself into this time? What good is this book without Part I? Acting on impulse again, aren't you, girl? You know that leads to nothing but trouble! her inner voice, which Cass had affectionately nicknamed "the Enforcer" or "E" for short, scolded as she handed over $23.95 to the clerk and accepted her bagged purchase. Cass walked through the mall, having an internal conversation with herself, her hands gesturing as though she had a visible conversant in front of her.
Look, I know it seems like impulse, but the book looked too good to pass up ... I'll find Part I in San Jose tomorrow, she reasoned.
Like hell it looked too good! What looked too good was the picture of the author ... always a sucker for a pretty face, huh, Cass? Enforcer egged on.
Cass' inner voice first made its appearance during the trouble with Patti. The voice was a protector of sorts, always looking out for her, especially in matters of the heart. Sometimes she listened, but today, she shook it off as she made her way to her rented car and drove to the Dallas airport.
**********
Upon landing in San Jose, Cass went directly to where she had left her car parked in the employee's parking lot. Opening the door, she threw her bags into the front seat and climbed in behind them. It was sweltering hot again, temperatures were in the low 100's, and her car felt like a kiln. It had been locked up in this heat for the past two days, and the heat build up in the car made it smell like it was about to ignite ... it certainly felt that way to Cass.
"Okay, Cass, time for dinner," the woman said to herself as she started the car and threw it into gear after first turning the air conditioner on high.
Cassidy Conway seldom ate at home. In fact, she never ate anything she had to cook -- always afraid she would poison herself ... afraid of dying alone from her own cooking, so she was a familiar sight in the diners located within a five mile radius of her condo.
"Hey Cass!" Angela said as Cassidy entered the establishment and went directly to her usual table.
"Hi Angie!" Cass replied, a comfortable camaraderie having long been established between herself and the proprietor.
Angie automatically brought a cup of coffee to Cass' table and placed it in front of her. "Tough flight? You look beat," Angie said.
"I love you too, Ang ..." Cass said, reaching up to touch the side of the woman's face. "You sure know how to make a girl feel good, my friend!" she added.
Angie chuckled and walked away, thinking to herself that Cass' beauty was in a class all itself -- all six feet of her. Cassidy Conway was indeed a beautiful woman. Her regal height gave her a commanding presence. One of the most notable features were her long, shapely legs and hips --'legs that go on for miles' as Angie was fond of saying, that led to a finely tapered waist and generously firm breasts. Her face was exquisite -- finely chiseled features, great bone structure, and eyes so startling blue, they looked surreal. The package was topped by a mane of long and flowing black hair. The effect was breathtaking.
"What can I getcha tonight, Hon?" Angie asked, holding her order pad in front of her.
"Oh, I don't know, Ang ... Why don't you bring me the clam chowder and chef salad ... light Italian," she said, closing the menu and handing it back to the waitress.
"Okay, Sugar ... it'll be right up," Angie said as she went to place Cass' order.
Cass sat there waiting for her meal, drumming her fingers on the table and looking around with a bored reticence. Finally, her mind drifted to the package she had purchased earlier that day in Dallas. Rising to her feet, she called out to Angie that she'd be right back, and went to her car to retrieve the book. Returning to the table, she laid the book down and off to the side, with the back cover facing upward, the emerald green eyes staring right at her.
"She's a pretty one," Angie said, startling Cass out of her trance.
"Huh?" Cass asked, embarrassed at having been caught daydreaming.
"I said she's a pretty one. Good writer too. Can I see the book?" she asked.
Cass reluctantly handed over her prize to the woman, and watched nervously as Angie looked the cover over. "Stargazer II, Hey, I just finished Part I of this series. You'll have to lend it to me when you're finished. Roxanne Ward is a very good writer!" Angie exclaimed.
"You just finished Part I?" Cass asked, suddenly very alert.
"Yeah. I assume you read it, since this is Part II?" Angie asked.
"Well, actually -- no. I was going to try to find it in town tomorrow. Would you consider lending it to me?" Cass asked.
"Sure, I'll give it to you when you come in for breakfast tomorrow morning, okay?" Angie offered.
"Ah, Ang, is there any way I can get it tonight? I'd kind of like to get started reading it as long as I've got a couple of days off," Cass said.
Angie placed her hands on her hips and looked closely at her customer and friend. "What is it about this book that you are in such a hurry to read it, Cass?" she asked, handing the book back to her.
"Noth.... Nothing in particular," Cass stammered, her attention focused on the back of the jacket cover once more.
Angie followed Cass' gaze. "Oh, I see," she said, a knowing smile crossing her lips. She had known for a while now about Cass' inclinations toward women.
"What?" Cass said innocently, blushing at being caught.
"Well, like I said, she's a pretty one ... you've got good taste, Cass," Angie observed, causing Cass to blush even more.
**********
Cass returned to the diner that evening at closing time and followed Angie home. After two cups of coffee and more conversation than Cass really wanted, she left for home with Stargazer tucked securely under her arm.
Turning the faucets on, Cass filled the tub with slightly hot water and fragrant bath oils, intent on spending the next hour relaxing and reading. Tying her hair into a knot on top of her head, she slipped into the warm water, sliding her long frame under the surface and placing a rolled up towel between her neck and the edge of the tub. Reaching over to the stool she had pulled up beside the tub, she grabbed Stargazer and started to read.
Six hours later, in the wee hours of the morning, sitting in a tub of cool water, she snapped the book closed -- finished. Cass leaned her head back into the towel, feeling the stiffness in her spine from sitting in that position for so long. Her butt cheeks and legs had long since lost all sensation as her skin shriveled up on her feet. She sat there in solitude, tears flowing down her cheeks at the dilemma the lovers in the novel faced. One human, one alien, faced with the prejudices of both worlds, star-crossed lovers, destined to live in each other's hearts and minds, but impossibly separated by space and time.
Cass reached out and placed the novel on the stool, then wiped the tears from her cheeks. Very carefully, she maneuvered herself into a sitting position, knowing she would dance around like a fool when the prickly feeling finally returned to her butt and legs. Reaching out, she grabbed the towel and methodically dried herself off as she stepped out of the tub. Sure enough, the feeling returned, bringing with it, an insatiable tingling that lasted for several minutes. Cass clung to the towel rack in agony for the duration, until finally, it subsided and she was able to walk around normally again. Then, still totally naked, she picked up the book and headed to her bedroom where she placed it on her dresser and threw a T-shirt over her head, before climbing in between the sheets of her freshly made bed.
Sleep was a long time coming. Cass laid there staring at the ceiling, thinking about the lovers, and thinking too about the woman who created them. "Roxanne ... Roxie ... Rox," she sounded the name out on her lips, liking the sound of it. "Roxanne Ward, native New Englander ... seacoast of Maine," she mumbled as she finally drifted off to sleep.
***********
Ah, Saturday morning, Cass thought as she stretched herself awake. Cass loved the weekends. As part of her contract with the airline, she didn't fly on the weekends. As a result, she was seldom booked for a flight that kept her away from home for more than two days. Due to her bilingual abilities in Spanish, she covered a great deal of the flights into Mexico and Central and South America, and occasionally, a flew domestic routes. It just so happened, that yesterday's flight to Dallas needed coverage, and she was available, so in order to enjoy a change of pace, she accepted. Lying there in bed, she thanked her lucky stars that she had accepted the flight -- otherwise, she may not have found Stargazer II.
Climbing out of bed, she reached her arms high above her head and pressed her palms toward the ceiling, then clasped her hands together and leaned her torso side to side, stretching her abs and shoulders. "God, that feels good!" she said, returning her arms to her side and shaking them out before moving into the kitchen to set up the coffee pot with 'Raspberries and Cream' flavored coffee.
Slipping a pair of boxer shorts on under her T-shirt, she stepped out into the hallway of her condo and sprinted down the stairs to retrieve the morning paper from her mailbox. Unrolling it, she scanned the front page as she made her way back into her apartment. Finding nothing of real of interest, she threw the paper on the kitchen table and poured herself a cup of the fragrant coffee.
"Nothing like a good cup of coffee to start the morning," Cass said, savoring the raspberry flavor as she carried her 'morning cup of ambition' into the living room and sank into the overstuffed chair in front of the TV. Reaching for the remote, she clicked the TV on to the weather channel, just in time to catch the local forecast. "Damn! Rain today. In this heat it will be so humid the air conditioner won't touch it," Cass complained to no one in particular.
Cass suddenly stopped and realized what she had just done. "Great! Now I'm talking to myself! Cassidy, you've got to get a life," she said, feeling very alone at the moment. Clicking off the TV, she reached for her coffee and sat back in her chair, allowing her mind to wander back to a time when she wasn't so all alone, but wished she had been....
It was three years ago when it all finally came to an end. She just couldn't take it any more. The abuse was intolerable. She found herself a beaten and battered woman, physically and emotionally. Patti was so loving at first. The first two years they had together were wonderful ... full of love, adventure, travel. There were rarely apart, and the love they had for each other shone on their faces.
Cass and Patti seemed to be made for each other. Both were six feet tall, and complimented each other in every way. Cass was dark, Patti was blonde. Cass' creamy skin covered intricately toned muscles, while Patti was tanned and muscular, having spent many hours in the gym lifting heavy weights. Cass was friendly and outgoing, Patti was distant and stoic, except around Cass, with whom she was outwardly affectionate. Both women were strong willed, determined, and independent.
Cass sipped her coffee, contemplating what had gone wrong in their relationship. After two wonderful years, things suddenly went sour. Patti started coming home late from the gym, turning the stoicism she showed to the world, on Cass. The silence was deafening for the dark haired, blue eyed woman. Cass considered herself a communicator, always verbally reinforcing her love for Patti. She cherished the long talks she shared with her love on a regular basis, especially while lying in each other's arms at night in bed, after making love. All that changed during those horribly destructive months.
Patti suddenly became confrontational instead of loving, supplying short, sarcastic answers to questions, making Cass feel ignorant and small, that is, when she would speak to Cass at all. Most of the time, Cass was met with the silent treatment, never really understanding what she did to warrant such abuse. Cass spent this time starving for loving feedback, but receiving cold, silent, hateful looks instead. Patti was obsessed with working out, putting on more and more muscle and growing meaner and meaner with each inch of muscle gained.
Finally, it happened. Cass questioned Patti's late arrival one night and Patti struck her, sending her flying over the coffee table, striking her head on the edge of it and cutting it wide open. The drive to the emergency room was tense, filled with apologies and promises never to let it happen again. That was the first of many times. Then, after several months of broken promises, Cass packed her bags and left. Two days later, Patti was found dead in her car outside the gym, overdosed on a combination of drugs and steroids. Cass never forgave herself for Patti's death, believing that her actions drove Patti to suicide.
That was three years ago ... three lonely years running away from personal commitments. Yes, she had enjoyed brief encounters with women she met on her flights, but none of them held any promise of permanency ... an arrangement that was perfectly acceptable to Cass. For the past three years, she had been happy with her solitude. Now, however one chance encounter with a promo picture on the back of a science fiction novel changed all that.
Taking a deep breath, Cass rose from her seat and freshened her coffee. Standing at the kitchen counter, with her backside leaning against the cupboard, she stared straight ahead, eyes unblinking, as she sipped the brew and tried desperately to chase away the memories of those final nightmarish months with Patti.
Never again, Cass. Do not give your heart freely, girl. You will only be hurt and disillusioned. protect yourself, Cass. Build those walls -- they will keep you safe, Enforcer said over as over as she once again established a firm resolve to stay uncommitted and uninvolved in a serious relationship.
Feeling better about her decision, Cass refilled her coffee cup, then reached for the package she had brought home with her the night before. Reaching inside, she pulled out Stargazer II, and carried it into the living room where she settled herself in the overstuffed chair once more, curling her long shapely legs under her. Reaching up to turn on the light next to the chair, she took one more look at the back cover before opening the book and beginning to read.
**********
Cass was captivated. Never before had she read a science fiction novel with such emotional impact. Science fiction generally came in two flavors; either highly technical, detailing the operation of a space ship and fighting with nuclear and laser-based weapons, or they tended to lean toward the horror aspect of monstrous aliens. Cass loved science fiction, mainly for these reasons. With this genre, she was able to escape into a fantasy world without having to deal with the emotional side of life.
Stargazer had left her emotionally tender as she sat crying in the tub of cold water last night. Stargazer II was no different. She quite literally could not put the book down, even going so far as carrying it with her into the kitchen as she retrieved a container of yogurt from her refrigerator and returned to her seat in the living room. Nearly the entire day was spent curled up in that chair. A rainstorm raged around her, flashes of lightning periodically illuminating the room, while an emotional storm raged within her heart.
Cass was totally out of control emotionally by the end of the story as the two lovers lay in each other's arms, their last breaths mingling as one, professing their love and devotion to each other beyond the realms of physical existence. Great sobs wracked her body as the lovers died, creating an ache in her heart so intense that she was quite literally unable to stop sobbing. Closing the book and placing it on the end table, she unfolded her long frame from the chair and went to bed. Climbing under the covers, she pulled her knees tightly into her chest, and allowed the pain and suffering from her time with Patti to return. The sense of loss she felt when Patti died was enormous. As abusive as Patti was, she still loved her. Their separation was devastating. Her death nearly killed her. That same sense of loss washed over her as Cass thought again of the dying lovers at the end of Stargazer II, sending new waves of pain and tears down upon her tortured soul. Finally, physically and emotionally exhausted, she fell into a deep sleep, escaping the horrors that had invaded her heart and soul.
**********
Cass rolled over and looked at the digital clock on the nightstand. 7:16 illuminated the face in bright red letters. Sitting up, she rubbed her hands over her face and through her hair. Wow, I must have been really tired to have over slept like that. I'm normally up by 6:00 am!, she thought. Climbing out of bed, she shuffled into the kitchen and found a half pot of coffee still on the hot plate. Stopping short, she stared at the coffeepot, a look of utter confusion on the face.
Cassidy, you're slipping girl. Good thing there was still coffee in the pot. You could have burned down the whole condo by leaving it on all night like that, Enforcer said as she reached over and clicked off the pot.
Her stomach growled loudly, protesting that the container of yogurt she ate earlier was just not enough to sustain it for such a long period of time. "All right, all right, I'll feed you... just settle down, okay?" she said out loud as another rumble rolled up from the depths of her stomach.
Cass really was a terrible cook, so she depended on pre-packaged foods for the rare occasion that she actually ate at home. Shuffling over to the sparsely stocked pantry, she grabbed a package of crackers, then retrieved a brick of cheese from the refrigerator, checking first that it didn't contain any green moldy spots before slicing off several pieces to eat with the crackers. Arranging her treat on a paper plate, she carried it into the living room and sat down in her favorite chair. Reaching over to place the plate on the end table, she noticed Stargazer II sitting there where she had left it, causing a new wave of emotional pain to wash over her. Taking a deep breath, she admonished herself for her reaction. Damn it, Cassidy, get a hold of yourself ... it's just a story.
Reaching for the remote, she turned on the TV, which was still tuned into the Weather Channel. "The storm that hit the area earlier today caused extensive damage in outlying regions, with downed tree limbs causing power failures ..." the forecaster droned on.
Cass was about to turn the channel when the forecaster's words finally sunk in. "The storm that hit the area earlier today ..." Today? she thought. Did he say, TODAY? Clicking furiously through the channels, she found the one that previewed the cable channel offerings and looked immediately to the bottom left corner of the screen where the digital time was faithfully displayed. It read 7:42 pm.
"Holy shit!" Cass exclaimed. "It's still Saturday. I must have slept the whole afternoon away," she said to the empty room. "Cassidy, you are in big trouble here, girl. Talking to yourself, crying yourself senseless over some story, sleeping the day away ... you need to get a grip before you really lose it," she said.
Putting the half-eaten plate of food aside, she reached down and picked up Stargazer II and turned it over to look at the author's picture on the back. "I'll bet you don't have this problem," she said to the picture. "You probably live a very simple, happy little life in your picturesque New England town, surrounded by friends and family ... probably a husband and a couple of kids ... sitting in your little hammock on the beach, lap top at hand, writing away, while the kiddies build sand castles around you, and the hubby is off earning a living for his wife and children."
Sometimes Cass longed for such a life, but knew in her mind that it would never happen. Beside, she had decided not to let herself fall in love again. The devastation and despair she suffered through with Patti had taught her a lesson about life, about trust ... and she wasn't about to expose herself to that level of pain again.
Cass reached out and ran a finger over the face on the book cover. "You are certainly a beauty," she heard herself say, "and very talented too," she concluded, melancholy feelings of longing and lost love filling her heart. "I wish I could tell you how much this story touched me," she added, opening the back cover and once more reading the short bio on the author. Suddenly, a sentence caught her eye, "Visit her web site at www.roxie.com, or send her an e-mail at Rox@starship.com."
Butterflies suddenly invaded Cass' stomach. God, do I dare? she thought to herself as she stared at the e-mail address. What would it hurt? she reasoned. Just a brief note telling her how much I enjoyed the book - that's all. She probably wouldn't answer back ... writers are a busy lot after all.
Resolving to do it before she lost her nerve, Cass went to the spare room she used as an office and powered up her computer. She sat there fidgeting in her chair, nervously going over what she wanted to say while she waited for the program to boot. Finally it was ready. Logging onto the Internet, she went to her mailbox and selected 'New Message'. Addressing the note to Rox@starship.com, she composed a brief note, reading it over several times before she was comfortable enough to send it.
Taking a deep breath, Cass pressed the 'send' button, knowing immediately the action was irreversible. She suddenly regretted the boldness she felt when adding the last two sentences to the note. Shrugging, she said out loud, "Oh well, she'll probably just file it in the recycle bin anyway."
Her stomach once again announced its presence as she powered down the computer. Glancing at the clock on the desk, she noted that it was 10:03 pm.
Wow! I can't believe it took you two hours to write three lines! Cassidy, I'm starting to worry about you big time! Enforcer said. Jesus, girl. Get a grip ... pull your life together. You need to get laid - yeah, that's it. You have all this sexual tension just building up, making you crazy. Go on out, find yourself some willing chick and do the Nasty all night long. You'll feel better in the morning, Enforcer encouraged.
Cass shook her head, clearing her mind of such thoughts. Go to bed Cass ... tomorrow's another day.
With that, she turned off the desk lamp, took a quick shower, and crawled into the bed she had left unmade from earlier in the day. Within moments, she was asleep, dreaming of red-gold hair, emerald green eyes and alien lovers.
*********************************************************************************************
CHAPTER II
Roxanne opened one eye and glanced at the nightstand. 6:00 am was illuminated in bright red numbers across the face of the clock. Damn! Why do I always wake up before the alarm? she asked herself. Rolling stiffly out of bed, she planted her feet securely on the floor and slowing eased herself into a standing position, grunting and groaning along the way. God, I hurt this morning, the thought as she shuffled slowly to the bathroom.
Bathroom chores finished, she shuffled into the kitchen to set up a pot of coffee before pulling a robe over her nightshirt and slipping her sandals on to retrieve the morning paper. Rox had a general idea how she looked that morning, she knew her red-gold hair would be sticking up at all angles and her face all puffy looking, but she didn't even bother looking into the bathroom mirror ... there wasn't much that she could do about it anyway ... it would take time ...
Shuffling back into the house, she sat down at the table and scanned the paper. Nothing of real interest caught her eye, but it was a good way to pass the time while she waited for the coffee to finish brewing. Finally, it was done. Struggling to her feet, she walked over to the cupboard and reached for a clean coffee cup. Filling it, she painfully made her way outside and sat in the glider on the deck to enjoy her brew.
Rox loved her home. She purchased it two years ago with the proceeds from Starflight. It was a beautiful three story Victorian, sitting directly on the beach. Immediately after the purchase, she had the deck added to the back. It had since become her favorite place to sit and think, contemplating life, love, happiness and sorrow. The smell of the ocean and the sound of the seagulls in the early morning filled Rox with a feeling of hope and renewal, while the sunsets, lighting the sky with brilliant shades of red, provided peace and serenity after a long day of writing.
Rox was basically a loner. She had relatively few friends, except Nikki. Nikki was the only one who really knew her, knew her heart, and accepted her for what she was. She loved her friend very much. They had been close since college. It was her best friend she turned to when she realized the direction her heart was taking her in. It was Nikki she ran to when things became too rough to bear ... who came to her at all hours of the night when she called, needing to be held and comforted. Nikki was a wonderful friend, very understanding and accepting. Nikki's partner, Jerri was very protective of Rox. She had offered on several occasions to 'take care' of her problems for her, but of course, Rox wouldn't allow it . Her life already felt out of control enough, without Jerri taking over for her.
Rox's thoughts were suddenly brought back to reality by a seagull cawing nearby, hoping to be fed. Smiling at the bird, Rox threw her hands out to the side in a gesture that said, "Sorry bud ... no breakfast here!", and watched it fly away.
Tilting her cup skyward, Rox finished her last sip of coffee, then struggled to her feet to retrieve another. This time, however, instead of returning to the deck, she slowly climbed the two flights of stairs to her office in the attic. Like many of the house situated by the ocean, and long since inhabited by sea captains and their families, the top floor of Rox's home contained a lookout room, complete with a widow's walk circling the periphery. The side of the room facing the ocean was floor to ceiling windows with French doors opening onto the walk. Rox loved to stand in front of these windows and watch the ocean rage before her whenever there was a storm. It provided her with a sense of excitement that made her catch her breath and filled her with such wonder and awe at the power of nature that it often brought tears to her eyes.
Rox had spent long hours redecorating her office space. The same company that had built her deck was commissioned to install a floor to ceiling stained glass window on the west wall so that the afternoon sun would shine through in brilliant colors. The room was large and airy, one end was set up with her desk, book cases and reference library. The window end of the room contained an arrangement of chairs, couches, end tables and scatter rugs. The couch facing the windows was actually a hide-a-bed that Rox had used on occasion when she had written well into the night and didn't want to disturb Chris by coming to bed so late. She even had a small kitchenette installed to limit interruptions in her writing for basic necessities, such as eating.
This morning, Rox planned on an early start to her writing. She had lost valuable time the night before ... time consumed by heart wrenching events ... events that seemed to be happening with more frequency and regularity of late. Taking a deep breath, she turned on her computer, thinking that she really had to get her life under control.
**********
"Roxanne, god damn it. I want an answer when I talk to you," the voice boomed from the doorway.
Rox was so absorbed in her writing, that she had shut out the outside world. At the sound of the voice, she looked over her shoulder toward the door to her office. "I'm sorry, Chris, what was it you said?" she asked apologetically.
Chris appeared in the doorway, hands braced against the door frame, anger covering stoic features. "I asked you where my blue work shirt is. Find it for me, NOW!" came the demand.
"Chris, I'm in the middle of a chapter, it's in the dryer, please go .... Arrgh!" Rox choked out as Chris crossed the room in three steps and grabbed her by the throat.
Pulling Rox's face in close, Chris spat out, "I told YOU to get it. I won't put up with your shit Rox ... don't push me if you know what's good for you. Now get my shirt!"
Rox nearly fell to the floor as she was suddenly released. "All right, all right," she said, fighting back the tears. "I'll get it."
Before doing her errand, Roxanne turned back to the screen and saved her story, then turned the computer off. She did not like leaving a file open on the screen with Chris around. She didn't trusted Chris when it came to her computer. She was afraid that she'd come back and find all her hard work erased from the hard drive.
Chris noted the time Roxanne was taking to secure her work. "You know, Roxanne, I am really beginning to think you care more about your computer and your writing than you do about me," Chris said.
Knowing another confrontation was at hand, Roxanne did what she could to avoid it. "Chris, sweetheart, don't be foolish," she said, hoping to avoid the issue, although in her heart she really did feel that way about her work. It pays the bills, Chris. That's more than I can say about you, she thought to herself.
"Then get your ass moving and get my shirt. Oh, and I need some money. I'm meeting the guys after work for a few drinks. I'll be home late. Don't wait up for me." Chris said nonchalantly.
Roxanne hated giving money to Chris, who worked only when it was convenient. The only benefit to handing over the money was that it meant Chris would be gone for several hours, and would give her some piece and quiet, so as usual, she relented ... again. Reaching for her purse, she handed $40 to Chris, who shoved it deep into a pocket without as much as a thank you.
Taking a deep breath, Rox rose from her chair and painfully made her way down three flights to the cellar. Why am I so stiff and achy this morning? she thought. What made last night different from all the other times she had been knocked around? Maybe it was the way she fell over the coffee table? Yeah, that must be it, she said as she gingerly descended the stairs to the laundry room to retrieve Chris' shirt.
**********
"Okay baby, fire up," she said as the computer booted up. Rox drummed her fingers impatiently as she waited for her Star Trek wall paper to appear. It was only 8:00 am, and with Chris out of the house for the whole day and most of the night, she'd have a chance to really put a dent in her new book. Finally, the system was ready. Grabbing the mouse, she selected "Netscape Navigator" and logged onto the Internet to check out the writer's chat group she was currently engaged in. Finding no one home, she finally remembered that it was Sunday and that the chat group normally took that day off. At least someone gets Sundays off, she noted to herself, wondering why three weeks ago, Chris suddenly began working weekends. There was some big construction job the company had won a bid on ... at least that's what Chris told her. Rox secretly suspected that Chris was having an affair with another woman.
Rox was brought back to reality when she noticed a small envelope icon flashing at the bottom right corner of her screen. Humph... e-mail! she said to herself. I wonder whose calling? Reaching for the mouse, she double clicked on the envelope and opened her mail.
She had three pieces of mail, one from the science fiction mailing list she had subscribed to, one from her mother, and one from 'cconway@flyboy.com'. Probably fan mail, Rox thought as she read the first two e-mails. The one from the mailing list was a poll to rate the popularity of recent sci-fi hits, including Men In Black, Alien Resurrection. and Lost In Space. I'll answer that one later. The note from her mother was a reminder that she and Chris had been invited to dinner next weekend. I hope the bruises have faded by then ... hell, I've got to figure out how to avoid new ones between now and then! Finally, the last note was indeed fan mail. It read:
A very beautiful woman? Rox thought. You should see me right now. I look great in black and blue, she thought as she sat back and read the note one more time, trying to ascertain what the person was like who wrote it. Okay, let's see ... 'flyboy.com' ... probably a military pilot ... I'd say ... 40'ish ... single and heartbroken, judging by the 'guarded heart' comment. He's obviously a sucker for a pretty face ... I really need to put a different picture on my jacket covers ... the one on Stargazer II was drawing way too many letters from whackos.
Rox sat back and thought about when that photograph was taken. Two years ago, just before Chris came into her life. She had just published Starflight, and was quite surprised by its success. Rox loved science fiction, but the one thing she always felt it was lacking, was emotion ... specifically, romantic emotion. Science fiction was typically about technical jargon and fighting aliens, all of which fascinated her, and sci-fi did have the ability to invoke emotions, but those emotions usually covered things like fear and suspense. Never had she read a good sci-fi novel that included romance, so she set out to publish one herself.
Rox loved to write. While in high school and college, she enrolled in creative writing and poetry classes, and excelled in all of them. She was the editor of the high school yearbook and worked at the campus newspaper in college as a journalist. When she graduated from college with a degree in Journalism, she moved to Portland and landed a job as a copy writer in the local newspaper office. While she enjoyed her job, she felt that it stifled her creativity, and she said as much to her parents on a visit home to Rockland one summer after nearly two years on the job. Having always been supportive of their only child's dream, they insisted she come home to live and take the necessary steps to establish herself as a published writer. Rox just couldn't refuse, so at the age of 24, after two years of living independently, she moved back home and started writing Starflight. A year later, it was published, and soared to the top of the sci-fi best seller list.
Right after Starflight was published, she met Chris. Chris was a supervisor for the construction company Rox hired to build her deck. She fell head over heels in love at first sight. Chris was average height and muscular and very good looking ... 'a real charmer' as Roxanne's mother loved to say about her beau. If you only knew, Mama, Rox thought. Rox's parents absolutely loved Chris, and Chris spent a great deal of time intentionally charming her parents ... to keep the suspicions at bay.
Roxanne sat back and sighed. Now here she was, two years later, nearly 27 years old, and living as a battered wife. Gods, how did I get myself into this mess? Better yet -- how do I get out? she thought as she stared at the computer screen, which by now had blurred beyond reading. Blinking several times to bring the things back into focus, she finally realized that she hadn't answered the fan mail still on the screen on front of her.
"Okay Roxanne, get a grip," she said out loud before starting her reply.
Grabbing the mouse, she selected "reply" at the top of the screen, then poised her hands over the keys. Shit! What do I say to this guy? she thought. Do I tell him the truth and say -- No I don't have someone who appreciates me... No, I live with this brute who beats me on a regular basis - come rescue me? Or do I lie and say, life is wonderful? Gods, I hate to lie! she thought.
After several more minutes of staring at the screen, she settled for something in between:
Taking a deep breath, Rox pressed the 'send' button, knowing immediately the action was irreversible, and suddenly regretting the unwritten plea for sympathy she had added to the note. Shrugging, she said out loud, "Oh well, he'll probably just file it in the recycle bin anyway."
*********************************************************************************************
CHAPTER III
Seven a.m., Sunday morning, the sun shone in through the slotted blinds, falling across the bed in striped formation. Feeling the heat from the sun's rays, Cass rolled over and pulled the sheet over her head.
"Go away!" she said to the sun, knowing full well that it wouldn't listen to her.
The sunbeams persisted, raising the temperature of her skin beneath the sheet.
Damn it, Cass. You should of closed the blinds last night! her inner voice shouted. Sitting up suddenly, she sat there, legs out straight and apart, her upper body resting on her hands which she had splayed slightly behind her on each side of her body, the sheet draped casually over her legs. Her eyes were closed ... her head leaning on her right shoulder ... her long hair falling partially across her face. Cass sat like that for several moments, until her head rolled backward, causing her to jerk awake once more.
"Damn!" she said, out loud this time as she pulled her knees in to sit cross legged, propping her elbows up onto her knees and dropping her head into her hands. Rubbing her hands over her face, and scrubbing the sleep out of her eyes, she sat up straight again and rolled her head around on her shoulders. "Wake up, Cass," she said. Finally awake, Cass threw off the sheet and climbed out of bed, padding over to her dresser to retrieve her spandex running shorts and bra. Moments later, she was dressed and heading out the door for her Sunday run, a utility belt strapped around her waist to hold her money and water bottle.
Stopping at her mailbox to stretch before starting her run, she reached in for the newspaper and unrolled it, scanning the headlines. "Columbian Drug Dealer Eludes Authorities" read the banner. Cass briefly glanced at the article. "Columbian drug lord, Carlos Santonio eluded police Saturday as guerrillas opened fire, providing him with ground cover, while killing one policeman and injuring two others. Santonio is wanted on several charges of drug trafficking and smuggling in the United States and Central America."
"Fricken drug dealers!" Cass mumbled. "They all need to be hung by their balls," she added, rolling the paper up and shoving it back into her mailbox. I'll read that after my run, she thought, heading out.
Cass ran her normal five-mile route, which led her to Angie's diner for breakfast. Stopping outside the door, she took a few minutes to cool down and stretch again before entering and going directly to the ladies room to splash cool water on her face. Angie saw her come in and greeted her with her usual good morning smile and promise to have a coffee waiting for her when she came out. True to her word, a cup of strong black coffee was sitting at her usual table, along with a breakfast menu.
Moments later, Angie stopped at her table. "What'll it be this morning, Gorgeous?" she asked, smiling.
Cass looked up at the waitress, who was smiling at her disarmingly. Indicating the coffee that had been waiting for her at the table, she said to the woman, "Ang, if you weren't already married, I'd kiss you."
"Well, sweetness, If I wasn't already married, I'd let you," Angie replied causing Cass to chuckle. "What can I interest you with this morning?" she asked again.
"Let's see ... I'll take the vegetarian omelet, wheat toast, side of home fries," she said.
"Hungry this morning, huh?" Angie commented as she wrote down the order.
"A container of yogurt and a few crackers just didn't cut it yesterday," Cass replied.
"You know Cass, you need to settle down with someone who can cook. It would save you a lot of time and money," Angie observed.
"No thanks, Ang ... I kind of like being foot loose and fancy free," Cat said
"And lonely?" Angie asked.
Cass looked at her through narrowed eyes.
"Oh oh... kind of overstepped my bounds there, huh? Okay ... I know when to retreat - I'll be back with your order in a few minutes," Angie said, as she turned and practically ran to the kitchen.
Cass sat there looking at her hands clasped together on the table.
She's right you know. You are lonely. You really do need to find someone to share your life with, Enforcer said, just do it cautiously ... be careful who you choose.
I won't expose myself to that again, she replied internally.
You also can't go through the rest of your life alone and miserable. Get a life Cass! Not everyone you meet will be like Patti! Those one-night-stands you pick up occasionally are only good for one thing and you know it ... you need someone to have a meaningful relationship with, Enforcer chided again.
"I can't" exclaimed Cass out loud, eliciting stares from the other patrons around her.
Cass looked around nervously, the slid down into her chair, trying to make herself as invisible as possible. Damn it Cassidy, get a grip! Her thoughts were interrupted by Angie returning with her breakfast.
"Okay, one veggie omelet and a side of home fries. How 'bout a refill on that coffee?" Angie asked as she put Cass' plate down in front of her.
"Only if you join me," Cass said, half asking, half pleading.
Angie looked at her friend and saw the quiet desperation in her eyes. "Sure Sugar," she said smiling, grabbing Cass' coffee cup. "I'll be right back," she added.
Moments later, Angie was back with two full cups of coffee. Sliding into the seat opposite Cass, she began the conversation with a question. "So, did you get a chance to start the book?"
"Started and finished!" Cass said, "all in one night ... in a tub of cold water!"
Angie smiled. "It was a good book. Couldn't put it down, could you?"
Cass shook her head no as she chewed a mouthful of home fries.
"When are you going to start Part II?" Angie asked.
Cass just looked at Angie with a pathetic smile, catching her bottom lip between her teeth.
Angie looked at her incredulously. "You're kidding, right? Don't tell me you've read that one already too!?" she exclaimed.
Cass nodded her head.
"Cassidy Conway! Is that all you've done since you got home Friday is read?" Angie asked, shocked.
"Ang ... I couldn't help myself ... they were so good!" she replied.
Angie reached over to place a hand on Cass' arm. "Cass, darlin', I'm worried about you. Here you are, a beautiful young woman, and you spend your entire weekend holed up in your condo reading. Sweetheart, you've got to get out and meet people. How are you ever going to meet Ms. Right if you aren't out there looking?"
Cass put her fork down and wiped her mouth with her napkin. Placing it back in her lap, she sat back in her chair and looked at Angie. "Angie, I'm afraid. After Patti ..." she began.
"Patti wasn't your fault, Cass. I could tell she was using near the end. When the two of you came in for the occasional dinner, it was obvious that she was high on something. And beside, that was three years ago. It's time you put all that behind you and move on. You need someone to share your life with. Life is too short, sweetie ... don't waste it," she finished.
Cass just nodded her head solemnly then drank the rest of her coffee. Putting the cup back on the table, she threw some money down to cover the tab, then stood up and kissed Angie on the cheek. "Thanks Ang. It feels good to know someone cares."
"That, I do, Cass. You know I'm here for you, right?" The older woman asked.
Cass smiled. "Thanks," she said, squeezing the waitress' shoulder. "I'll see you around dinner time, okay?"
"Italian meatloaf on the menu tonight - your favorite!" Cass heard her yell as she left the restaurant, smiling.
Cass walked the distance back to her condo as a leisurely pace. Stopping at her mailbox, she retrieved the newspaper and climbed the steps to her apartment. Throwing the paper on the coffee table as she walked by, she headed directly to the bathroom where she stripped off her running clothes and jumped into the shower. Not expecting any visitors, she donned a pair of black high-cut bikini briefs and a short black tank top that came to just above her navel. The under clothes accentuated her long slim legs, slender waist and full, firm breasts.
Curling up on the couch, with her legs tucked under her, Cass reached for the paper and started scanning the various articles. Beside the article on the Columbian drug lord, there wasn't much to hold her interest. The only reason she was even remotely interested in that article was due to the fact that she flew quite regularly into Bogota. Not finding anything else to hold her interest, she fished the crossword puzzle out of the classified section and discarded the rest of the paper.
For the next hour, she absorbed herself in the crossword, until finally, she had completed it. Putting that aside, she sat there on the couch, looking around for something to do. Spotting the remote control, she reached for it and clicked over to the TV preview channel. Surfing through the listings, she found something that peaked her interest ... Fried Green Tomatoes, Sunday, noon. Damn! I really DO need to get a life! Cass told herself. Here it is only 10:15 am, she thought, looking at her watch, and I've already run out of things to do. This really sucks!
Cass got up from the couch and started pacing. Come on Cassidy ... think! Shopping? Nah ... I hate to shop. Movies? Nah ... too early in the day. Reading? Nah ... I've read everything .... Wait! Cass stopped dead in her tracks and looked toward her spare room. "I wonder ..." she said out loud before heading to her office.
Booting up her computer was never a task Cass had given much thought to, until now. She never realized before just how long it took for it to complete the boot-up and log-in cycle. "Come on you piece of sh.... ah, finally!" she exclaimed as she clicked on 'new messages' and waited once again for the system to query the server for new mail. "God damned system!" she shouted in vain. "Aarrgghh! It's about time!" she said when a list of new mail was produced. "Two pieces of new mail ... Okay, let's see who they're from," she mumbled as she selected her in-box. "Let's see, a piece of advertisement, and ... YES! Rox@starship.com. She replied. I can't believe it!" Cass exclaimed as she hurriedly clicked on the mail icon next to the address.
Cass read the response three times. Something doesn't feel right about this, she thought. This part right here..., she thought as she touched a line of text on the monitor with her finger. '...like salve for my soul ... It came at a time when I sorely needed it,' I wonder what she meant by that? she thought.
Whoa ... take it easy there Cass. Don't go jumping in without testing the water. This chick could mean trouble ... remember Patti? Remember ... take it easy ... take it slow, Enforcer reminded her.
Cass sat back in her chair and read the note once more. The words 'remember Patti' flashed across her conscious mind. With her heart in her throat, she reached for the mouse and moved the arrow to the upper right hand corner of the screen. Clicking on the "X" there, she logged off, then proceeded to shut the computer down.
Getting up out of her chair, she paced back and forth in front of the computer, arms crossed around her middle. Why do I feel this way? It's a piece of e-mail! She lives on the other side of the continent for Christ's sake! Pacing back and forth a few more times, Cass stopped and took a deep breath. Okay, Cass, you can do this. She thought, suppressing her inner voice. This is not Patti, it's Rox. You don't even know her ... she can't hurt you. Reaching for the mouse, she once again, went through the long and torturous routine of booting up the computer and logging into her inbox.
She sounds harmless enough, Cass thought, reading the note again. Okay, I'm going to do it, she said to herself as she clicked on 'reply'.
Without hesitation, Cass hit the 'send' button, then sat back and sighed. There! she said to herself. I wonder if she'll respond to that one. I hope she gets the message that I think she's beautiful. It sounds like she really needs to hear it right now. I wonder why?
Cass glanced at her watch ... 11:45 am. "Why does it take me so long to respond to an e-mail?" she asked herself out loud, realizing it had taken her more than an hour to do so. "Oh well, at least it killed some time. My show's coming on in 15 minutes... just enough time to pop a bag of corn and settle in," she said before heading to the living room.
*********************************************************************************************
CHAPTER IV
Rox was very pleased with herself. She glanced at the digital clock on her desk -- 2:44 p.m. was illuminated on the LCD. In the six hours that she had actually been writing today, she had produced two chapters, and now it was time to take a break. She hadn't eaten all day, and besides, she needed to start dinner in the event that Chris came home early. If dinner wasn't ready on time, all hell broke loose. She had learned early on to be prompt with the evening meal. If Chris did choose to stay out late, then she'd heat it up when her 'other half' finally did come home. Rox was secretly hoping that it would be late and she'd be in bed by the time Chris came home. She stood a better chance of escaping a confrontation when that was the case.
Closing the word processor on her computer, she shut the system down and went in search of a snack. Shuffling into the kitchen, she retrieved the bologna, pickles, cheese, a tomato and the mayonnaise from the refrigerator. Throwing it all together into a sandwich, she leaned back against the counter and took a big bite, closing her eyes and savoring the unique combinations of flavors. She remembered the first time Chris saw her eat one of these sandwiches. Accusing her of being pregnant ... which of course HAD to have happened because it was ASSUMED she was unfaithful ... Chris beat the living tar out of her, then forced her to take a home pregnancy test, which of course came out negative. Rox never did receive an apology for the beating ... she also never ate that sandwich again in Chris' presence. She saved this particular delicacy for times like this, when Chris wasn't home.
Finishing up her snack, she cleaned up the evidence and put the remaining food stuff back into the refrigerator before taking a roast out of the freezer and placing it in the microwave to defrost. Grabbing a diet soda from the refrigerator, she headed painfully back up two flights of stairs to her office to continue working on her book. She would come back to the kitchen in about an hour to put the roast into the oven.
Before starting back up on her book, Rox decided to check out her e-mail, finding two new pieces of mail. The first was from her publisher, asking for her weekly status on the new book. Rox was happy to report that it was coming along nicely, and that she had made significant progress this past week. The second e-mail was from cconway@flyboy.com. Ah, Cass, she thought as she double-clicked on the mail icon.
Rox smiled. "Thanks Cass, I really needed that," she said out loud. So he thinks I'm stunning, does he? she thought. Well, I guess I used to be ... before Chris, that is. I seem to have this permanent bluish tint to my face these days. Well, we're supposed to go to Mom and Dad's next weekend, so that means no beatings this week, Rox thought as she read Cass' note again. So you bought my book based on the picture alone, huh? My publisher was right - sex sells. I wonder how many other guys have bought the book for the same reason? Oh well, I'm glad you at least liked the story, she thought.
Rox hesitated before answering. "From the sounds of it, this guy doesn't really expect a response, Gerald ... but, what the hell. What can it hurt?" she said to the stuffed giraffe she had sitting on her desk next to the computer. Gerald the giraffe was a gift from a fan who purchased her first book two years ago, and it had been a constant writing companion ever since. Clicking on the 'reply' button, she responded ...
Rox hit the send button and watched as the note became irrevocably un-retrievable. Sighing deeply, she exited out of e-mail and entered her writer's chat room, where she spent the next two hours trading information and advice with fellow authors. Being a relatively new author, Rox gained a great benefit from the chat room. It allowed her to communicate and seek the advice and council of veteran writers, most of whom had best sellers at one point or another in their literary careers. Finally, at 5 pm, Rox logged off the 'Net and opened her word processor. For the next five hours, she threw herself into her story, totally absorbed in her latest tale of alien love and intrigue. Finally, thoroughly exhausted, but elated with her progress, she went to bed.
**********
Rox was dreaming. She was in a field of flowers, wearing a diaphanous gown of cream colored crepe, billowing in the breeze. Walking slowly through the field, she stopped often to pick flowers, smelling each one before adding them to the growing bouquet in her arms. Every now and then, she would glance up at the sky and smile into the sun, basking in the warmth on her skin. Suddenly, from across the field, she saw a form approaching. It didn't seem menacing. The closer it got, the more Rox was convinced that it was a woman. Someone taller than herself, with long dark hair. She too wore a diaphanous gown of cream colored crepe. Rox thought to herself that is was odd they were dressed alike. The woman was not picking flowers, as she was, but Rox did notice that she was carrying something ... something resembling a sword. Is she a defender of some sort? Rox asked herself as the woman neared.
Rox continued to pick flowers, feeling no fear from this intruder. The woman continued her slow approach. Soon, she was close enough for Rox to see that she was very beautiful. Tall and slender, with long dark hair and piercing blue eyes. The woman walked toward her with self assured confidence. Rox wondered once again if this woman was a defender, or savior. Stopping directly in front of Rox, the woman looked down into her eyes and smiled.
"Who are you?" Rox asked, looking into azure depths.
"I am the other half of your soul," the woman answered.
Rox looked at her puzzled, her hand immediately going to her chest, her palm laying flat against her heart. "My soul?" she asked. "I didn't realize it was missing."
"I have always possessed it ... through countless generations in time. I have known and protected it through many lifetimes. Each flower in this field represents one of our lives together. Those you hold in your arms are ones already passed ... those yet to be picked are yet to be lived. We are soulmates, past, present and future," the woman explained.
"Why are you here?" Rox asked.
"I am here to rescue you -- to protect your current life," the woman said.
"But there is no danger here," Rox replied, looking around.
"Danger is approaching ... let me protect you," the woman said, driving her sword deep into the ground beside her and taking Rox's face in her hands.
Rox was captivated by the sea of blue she was staring into, unable, and unwilling to move away.
The woman slowly lowered her face. Rox's pulse increased exponentially at the woman's touch alone. Her kiss would surely cause her to lose consciousness, as soft lips descended slowly to within a hair's breath of her own.
"Roxanne! Roxanne, you bitch! Where are you?" screamed the voice as Rox jolted awake, sitting upright in bed.
Rox was totally disoriented as she reached to touch her lips, the woman's warm breath still evident on her skin. Her eyes darted around in the dark trying to determine where she was. Finally, she realized that she was at home and in bed. Glancing at the clock on the bedside table, she noted the time was 3:08 am. She also realized at that moment, that the voice she had heard call out her name, was Chris ... on a rampage.
"Oh my god, no..." Rox whispered into the dark as Chris burst into the room. She was suddenly sick to her stomach.
"You filthy bitch!" Chris roared. "You filthy, good for nothing, god damned bitch!"
Rox couldn't see well in the darkness. "Chris, what is it?" she said in a tiny, fearful voice.
"What is it? What is it? I'll show you ... what, bitch!" Chris said, grabbing a handful of Rox's hair and painfully dragging her out of bed and into the kitchen. Once there, Rox was thrown up against the counter, where she crumpled to the floor..
"There - that's what!" Chris said, pointing to the microwave.
Rox climbed back to her feet, looking confused, until all of the sudden, she remembered the roast she had put in there to defrost earlier that afternoon. Rox's face immediately took on a look of sheer terror. God, no!! she thought to herself as Chris grabbed her and slapped her across the face, sending her flying across the room and into the refrigerator. The next thing Rox knew, the belt was in Chris' hand and her back was on fire.
*********************************************************************************************
CHAPTER V
It was 2 pm by the time Cass' show was finished. Even though she had seen Fried Green Tomatoes several times, it always left her crying. "Poor Idgie!" she whimpered out loud. "To lose the love of her life like that. Thank god she still had her son." The movie reminded Cass of the type of relationship she had with Patti ... Patti was so Idgie ... before things went terribly wrong. The major differences, were that in real life, it was her Idgie that died, and there was no child left behind to love. She was alone with her memories and her pain.
Cass pointed the remote control at the TV and pressed the power button, switching the set off. Still holding the remote, she curled up on the couch and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. Resting her head against the arm of the couch, she stared straight ahead and let her mind wander back to better days.
Cass was brought back to reality by the sound of the telephone ringing. Snapping into awareness, she wiped the moisture from her cheeks with the back of her hand before reaching over to lift the receiver.
"Hello? she answered.
"Hi Cass, this is Angie. Just calling to see if you'd mind bringing Stargazer II with you when you come to the diner tonight ... I'd like to read it," she asked.
"Ah ... sure Ang," Cass said, sniffing back another tear. "Sure ..."
"Cass, are you all right?" Angie asked, concern filling her voice.
"I'm fine, Angie ... really," she said, not sounding too convincing.
"Cass, I'm off early tonight. You're coming home to spend the evening with Roger and I, okay? It sounds like you could use the company," Angie offered.
"No, really, Angie. I'm fine," Cass countered.
"I won't take no for an answer - capishe?" the older woman said firmly.
Silence.
"Cass?" Angie asked.
"Okay ... Okay. For a couple of hours," Cass agreed. "And Ang ... thanks. I'll see you for dinner round 5 p.m.," she added before hanging up.
**********
A couple of hours quickly turned into four as Cass unlocked her condo door at precisely 10:09 p.m. She always enjoyed spending time with Angie and Roger. Roger was quite a character. She swore he could make a stone statue smile. The childless older couple had unofficially adopted her when she suddenly started showing up alone at the diner at regular intervals for meals. Angie had seen her in the diner before with Patti, but she always seemed to be preoccupied with the attractive blonde woman, obviously very much in love. It wasn't too long before Angie noticed a change in Patti and immediately suspected drug abuse. For the next several months, there was no sign of Cass nor Patti, until one day, Cass came in alone, looking very drawn and tired. Her forlorn state went straight to Angie's heart as she immediately took the dark haired beauty under her wing, where she has remained ever since.
Re-locking the condo door and throwing her keys on the coffee table, Cass went straight to the bedroom, stripping her T-shirt and shorts off along the way. Moments later, she had crawled into bed and pulled the covers up to her chin, falling into a deep sleep.
Cass opened her eyes and found herself laying in a field of wild flowers. Looking up, she noticed the sun shining overhead, warming her skin with its touch. Blinking several times, she rubbed the sleep from her eyes and sat up, noticing that she was wearing a diaphanous gown of cream colored crepe. Rising to her feet, she turned around in circles, looking all around at the apparently endless field of flowers. Suddenly, she noticed that she was holding a sword in her hand. Lifting it, she examined the weapon. The blade was approximately two feet long, the handle black and gold, and studded with milky colored gems. It was perfectly weighted, and almost seemed to be made especially for her.
Not knowing where she was, she began to walk, slowly strolling through the field of color. As she walked, visions came to her ... visions of past, present and future lives. Suddenly, everything was clear. She had a purpose, a goal, a mission. Continuing to walk, she eventually noticed a figure in the distance. She felt she was being pulled in the figure's direction. As she approached, she realized it was a woman, small in stature, with short red-gold hair and emerald green eyes. The woman was picking flowers, inhaling the floral aroma of each one before placing it in the growing pile in the crook of her arm.
She approached the woman and stopped in front of her. The woman did not seem to fear her, however, her own heart was beating out of her chest at the beauty of this small cherub.
"Who are you?" the woman asked, while looking directly into Cass' eyes.
"I am the other half of your soul," Cass heard herself answer.
The woman raised her hand to her heart. "My soul?" she asked. "I didn't realize it was missing."
"I have always possessed it ... through countless generations in time. I have known and protected it through many lifetimes. Each flower in this field represents one of our lives together. Those you hold in your arms are ones already passed ... those yet to be picked are yet to be lived. We are soulmates, past, present and future," Cass explained.
"Why are you here?" the woman asked.
"I am here to rescue you -- to protect your current life," Cass said.
"But there is no danger here," the small woman replied, looking around for the danger Cass spoke of.
"Danger is approaching ... let me protect you," Cass said. Driving her sword deep into the ground beside her, Cass found herself reaching forward and taking the small woman's face between her hands. Her heart was pounding in her chest at the excitement and intensity of emotion that was coursing through her veins.
The woman seemed unable and unwilling to resist Cass' advances. Instead, she stood there, apparently captivated by the moment, tilting her face up to eagerly accept the lips that were descending toward her own.
Suddenly Cass bolted awake, sitting up and looking around disoriented. It took a moment for her to realize that was in her bed. She looked at the digital clock on the night stand ... midnight. Throwing her legs over the side, she sat up and rested her elbows on her knees. Dropping her head into her hands, she sat there for long moments, trying to remember the dream. The details were sketchy at best. The only thing she could remember in detail, was the face of the young woman. Lifting her head and looking straight ahead at nothing in particular, she whispered one word ... "Rox."
**********
Cass had a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. Something was wrong ... she could feel it. Standing, she walked back and forth at the foot of the bed, trying to make sense of the dream. I wish I could remember more of it, she mused. Something about a sword ... soulmates ... past, present and future lives ... what does it all mean? she asked.
It means you're losing your marbles, girl! Enforcer piped in. Get a grip Cassidy! Soulmates? Past, present and future lives? Give me a break! Don't tell me you're gonna fall for all that spiritual mumbo jumbo are you? Geesh! You need help ... and you need it bad. Do something before you completely lose it, Cass. Enforcer encouraged.
Cass couldn't get the image of Rox out of her mind. Why would I dream about Rox? she asked herself. It must be because Angie and I spent hours talking about Stargazer I this evening. I have Rox on the brain ... yeah, that's it, she reasoned.
Cass went to stand in front of the window, looking out into the darkened, star-less night. Why do I feel so unsettled? My gut is twisted in a knot. Something is wrong. But what? "Damn!" she whispered into the night.
Wide awake, Cass paced back and forth, trying desperately to get the petite redhead out of her mind. Finally, acknowledging it as a wasted effort, she decided to take the opposite approach and to check her e-mail to see if the author had responded to her last note. Going to her office, she pressed the power button on the hard drive, then turned and left the room to retrieve a cool glass of water, knowing she would strangle the computer with her impatience if she had to stand there and watch it boot up. Moments later, she returned and logged onto the Internet.
"Okay Rox, talk to me," she said as she selected 'new messages'. There it was ... one new message from Rox@starship.com. Cass' heart flip flopped in her chest with excitement. Opening the mail, she read:
Cass smiled. She's curious about me, she thought. Cool! For some reason that small spark of interest from someone she didn't even know filled her heart with a giddiness she couldn't explain.
"All right, you asked ... I deliver," Cass said as she selected 'reply' at the top of the screen.
Pressing the 'send' button, Cass sat back and smiled, then frowned. Why are you constantly in my thoughts, Roxanne Ward? she asked herself. Sighing deeply, she reached over and selected the shut down routine for the computer and watched as it slowly went to sleep. That's exactly what I need to do... I have an early flight tomorrow, Cass thought as she dragged herself to bed.
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CHAPTER VI
Rox opened her eyes and peered into the darkness. Her cheek was lying against something hard and cool. Total silence enveloped her. Slowly lifting her head, she felt the skin on the back of her neck crinkle into painful folds, sending bolts of fire down her back. She stopped all movement, body frozen in statuesque stillness as she allowed the wave of pain to pass. Rox, you have to get up. You can't spend the night on the floor. Come on, you can do it, she told herself as she once again put her body into gear.
The skin on her back felt like it was ripping, shredding like a linen sheet stretched too far, as she slowly climbed to her feet. Holding on to the edge of the kitchen table, she stood there for several long moments, praying that the fire on her back would soon be extinguished. She nearly lost the contents of her stomach as she stood there weak kneed, white knuckles gripping the edge of the smooth wood surface, while tears streamed down her face and puddled on the table below. Several moments later, her stomach settled as she slowly righted herself and moved carefully into the living room. There was no sign of Chris. She assumed her abuser had gone to bed.
Making her way to the downstairs bathroom, she turned on the light and immediately winced as the bright light caused her to tightly screw up her face ... a gesture she found extremely painful through the bruises and cuts she found there when she looked into the mirror. The first thing that crossed her mind when she saw the state her face was in, was how she could possibly explain what had happened to her parents. There was no way they could find out about this. They loved Chris ... they thought Chris was the best thing that had ever happened to their little girl. She couldn't disappoint them with the truth ... not when her father had so little time left. She refused to send him to his grave with the knowledge that his little girl was living in an abusive situation. No, she would live with it ... make her excuses to get out of dinner next weekend ... then make it up to them ... somehow.
Knowing there was no way she could navigate the stairs, she moved slowly across the living room carpet and sat gingerly on the edge of the couch. Very carefully, she lowered herself down and lay on her side, placing her bruised face on the throw pillow. Reaching up, she pulled the quilt off the back of the couch and haphazardly arranged it over her hips and legs. Finally, she forced herself to relax, slowly releasing the tension, one body part at a time. The pain slowly eased as she committed herself to sleep.
**********
Rox was startled awake the next morning by the phone. Jumping up suddenly at the sound, she quickly crumpled back into a painful heap on the couch, trying hard to catch her breath and answer the phone before the caller hung up. Fighting tears and gasping for air, she picked up the receiver.
"He... Hello?" Rox rasped into the phone.
"Hey Rox! Are we still on for shopping today?" the caller asked.
"Nik...." Rox cleared her throat, "Nikki?" she answered.
Several long moments of silence.
"Nikki?" Rox asked again in a weak voice.
"Oh god ... Rox ... not again! I'll be there in five minutes, love ... don't move, okay?" Nikki said desperately.
A dial tone came from the phone long before Rox could take another breath to answer. Looking at the receiver and fighting back tearful memories from the night before, she shakily reached out and placed the receiver back in its cradle. That's when she noticed the note by the phone.
"I'll be out of town for the next few days on a job. C," was all it said. No apology, no explanation. If truth be known, Rox was surprised there was a note left at all. It was unlike Chris to show even that much consideration for her feelings.
Rox took a deep painful breath and closed her eyes. Minutes later, the front door burst open, admitting a 5'2" fireball.
"God damned, son of a bitchin' bastard!" Nikki cursed when she saw the state her friend was in. "Chris, you mother-fucker ... where the hell are you?!" she yelled into room.
Rox looked up from her position on the couch, tears clouding her vision. "Gone ..." was all she could say.
Going immediately to her side, Nikki sat next to Rox on the couch and took her into her arms, holding her tenderly as the red head cried out her sorrow into her friend's shoulder.
"It's okay, Baby ... cry it out, love," she said, placing light kisses on Rox's forehead. Tears were pouring down her own face and she rocked her friend back and forth. Several moments later, Rox 's breathing stilled as she fell into a light sleep against her friends' shoulder.
Nikki was shaking with anger as she silently examined her friend. Reaching over, she brushed Rox's golden bangs off her forehead, noting multiple cuts and bruises on her face and neck. "Sweetheart, why do you stay in this relationship?" she whispered to the sleeping woman through her own tears.
Nikki closed her eyes and rested her head on the back of the couch, remembering the first time she met Rox. She was very different than she was today... eager, bright, assertive, independent, dedicated ...
"Rox, when Jerri finds about this, Chris is toast, you know that, don't you?" she whispered to her sleeping friend, while she reached up and wiped the tears off her own face with the back of her fist.
Jerri was Nikki's partner of six years, having met immediately after Nikki graduated from college. They were as different as night and day. Where Nikki was petite, with short blonde hair, light green eyes, and a fiery temper, Jerri was tall ... about 5'9" with dark shoulder length hair, olive colored skin, brown eyes, and a mild mannered disposition -- except when the people she loved were in danger. Jerri would NOT take kindly to the treatment Rox suffered at Chris' hands.
Jerri liked to say that she and Nikki 'completed' each other. Their love was so real and so strong, that it was almost tangible. Rox liked to tease them about how much time they spend in each other's 'personal space', kissing, caressing, holding each other ... not to mention that nearly ever time Rox called them, they seemed to be in the middle of playtime. If truth be know, Rox was very envious of the intense, devoted love her friends had for each other, and she could only hope that some day she too would be lucky enough to find someone to love and who would love her with the same intensity.
For the next couple of hours, Nikki sat there holding her friend, humming lullabies she had heard as a child, and lightly rubbing her hand up and down Rox's arm, while plotting her revenge on Chris.
**********
"Mom ... Mom, I'm sorry. I know you and Dad were looking forward to dinner this weekend, but we just can't make it. Chris is out of town on a job, and it will be the perfect opportunity for me to catch up on my writing. My publisher is sending me e-mails daily, asking for status reports," Rox explained. "Yes, I know it's only Monday, and I suppose things could change before the weekend, but please don't plan on it. I know we promised, Mom, but it can't be helped. Maybe next weekend, okay? I'm sorry. Kiss Daddy for me, okay? All right Mom, I'll talk to you later, bye," Rox said, slowly placing the receiver back in the cradle and staring at it for long moments before looking up at Nikki, who had been pacing back and forth beside her.
Nikki stopped pacing and opened her arms to her friend, who went into them willingly. Wrapping her arms tightly around her injured friend, she noticed Rox stiffen. Nikki pulled Rox away from her and held her at arm's length by her upper arms. Narrowing her eyes, she reached up and unbuttoned Rox's night shirt. Too tired to fight her, Rox let her do it. After several moments, Nikki had the baseball jersey unbuttoned and pushed off Rox's shoulders, never breaking eye contact with the red head during the whole unveiling. Finally, Nikki broke contact by turning her friend around.
"Oh my god!" Nikki exclaimed as she ran into the bathroom to throw up.
While her friend was relieving her stomach of it's contents, Rox slowly and silently pulled the jersey back up and buttoned it, keeping her eyes downcast through the entire process. Moments later, Nikki was once again standing in front of her, lifting her chin with two fingers and looking into her face with such sympathy and love that Rox fell once more into her arms and just stood there, allowing her friend to hold her for long moments. Finally, Nikki kissed Rox's cheek then led her to a chair at the kitchen table and proceeded to go through the refrigerator looking for omelet ingredients.
"Nikki, I'm really not hungry," Rox protested.
Turning to face her friend, the little blonde answered, "Rox, you've got to eat. Look at you! When's the last time you ate a decent meal? For Christ's sake girlfriend, you're killing yourself. Between your job, your starvation diet, and that brute you're living with, you look like a third world refugee!" she exclaimed.
Rox cringed at the description. "I love you too, Nik," she said, trying to lighten the mood.
Nikki placed the bowl of beaten eggs on the counter and went over to wrap her arms around her friend's neck. Rox's hands came up to grasp Nikki's arms affectionately, as she leaned her head against her friend's.
"Rox, sweetheart, I am so worried about you. I half expect to see your name in the obituaries some morning," she said in a raspy voice. "Please walk away from this ... please!" Nikki pleaded.
"I can't Nik," she whispered back. "I won't break his heart like that. He's dying Nik ... the doctor's don't give him another six months. He thinks we're happy ... I can't shatter that illusion for him," she cried, more broken hearted at the prospect of losing her father to cancer than at the abusive situation she was living in.
"You will die before he does if something doesn't change soon, my friend," the petite blonde warned, drawing a startled look from her friend. "I'm sorry to put it so bluntly, Rox, but it's true. It's only a matter of time before Chris kills you."
Rox just stared at her hands clasped in front of her on the table as Nikki went back to cooking breakfast.
**********
It was nearly dinner time before Rox could convince Nikki to go home, assuring her that she had recovered enough mobility throughout the day to take care of herself. Besides, she really was receiving e-mails from her literary agent asking for status reports ... just not as often as she lied to her mother about ... so she really had to get back to her writing. Kissing her soundly, Nikki made Rox promise to call her if she needed anything.
Finally alone, Rox sat down in front of the computer and rested her bruised forehead against the monitor screen while she patiently waited for the system to boot up. While she waited, the phone rang.
"Hello?" she said into the mouthpiece.
"Rox, this is Jerri. Rox ... I'm gonna kill that... that..." she sputtered.
"Jerri ... you'll do no such thing, do you understand?" Rox said to her friend. Damn it Nik ... did you have to get her all riled up too? she thought.
"Rox ... Chris can not get away with this ... it won't stop, you know ... until it's too late!" she warned.
"Jerri, please ...," she interrupted.
"No, Rox... you can't sacrifice yourself like this ... not even for your father!" Jerri said angrily.
"Jerri, I think that's my decision to make, all right? Now I love you dearly for worrying about me, truly I do, but it is my decision," she finished angrily.
Silence.
"Jerri?" she asked.
More silence.
"Damn it Jerri, answer me ... I don't need this shit from you too!" she yelled.
A slight pause ... "I'm sorry, Rox," came the reply. "It's just that ... well, it's killing Nikki and I to see this happening to you ... you don't deserve it," she said.
"No one ever does, my friend ... no one ever does. I'm okay, Jerri ... I'll be fine in a few days. Chris won't be back at least before Wednesday or Thursday. That will give me plenty of time to recover, and to figure out how to prevent this from happening again," she explained.
"The only way to prevent it, Rox, is to get rid of that good for nothing creep!" Jerri exclaimed.
Rox smiled at the fact that Nikki was so much more colorful in her expletives than her partner. "In time, Jerri ... in time," was all she said. "Goodnight my friend ... kiss Nikki for me, okay?"
"All right, Rox ... take care of yourself ... bye," Jerri said, hanging up the phone.
Replacing the receiver, Rox sat back and took a deep breath, and decided to read her e-mail before beginning to write. Clicking on 'get messages', she waited patiently as five new posts flooded in. Third on the list was 'cconway@flyboy.com'. Deciding to save that one until last, Rox quickly read and replied to the remaining four, most of which were short blurbs from her writers' chat room buddies. That out of the way, she clicked on the last remaining e-mail, then gingerly rested her sore back against the chair to take her time reading the post.
Roxanne lifted her hand to her mouth to stifle a sob when she read ... "How could someone as beautiful as yourself produce anything but perfection?"
With tear-filled eyes, she exited e-mail, shut down the computer, and went to bed to escape the nightmare that was her life.
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