Part Three

Rico Rivera had been around for a few years. Unlike most he had lasted. He was reputed to deliver the white clean and that was rare. Rico was not the forgiving sort but was also known to honor a deal. Taya had been reluctant to deal with the Cuban. Too close to home, she had told herself but sometimes the times required change, and in the jungle of the pens change is what kept one on top and alive.

Taya set up a meeting with Rico in West New York, a small town in Hudson County. Once upon a time Cubans had been the majority in the area. With the years the tides had changed yet again. Now it was mainly North Americans, but that was okay, still plenty of Cubans around. She had not visited often but it was a place that she and Rico could blend in and not be noticed. They agreed to meet at Las Palmas, a restaurant known for its Cuban cuisine. As soon as Taya walked in the smells of her childhood flooded her mind.

She looked around, heard her native language being spoken at every turn, and she had to admit it felt good. It had been so long. She could smell the food, the rush, the expressions and the attributes that she told herself only her people were known for, and for a moment she forgot why she had come and a smile appeared on her face.

The smile did not last long however but it had opened a door she had not wanted opened again. And for a brief moment the pain touched her. After all, that was a life she had walked away from. She was not remembered, nor did she want to be remembered.

"Vete! Vete lejos de aqui!" Her mother yelled at her to go far away.

"Mama..." Taya felt the sting of those words as they cut her very soul.

"No, vete!" Her mother turned her back to her and began to cry.

A young Taya walked out of the house never to come back again.

Those were memories she did not want. That was a life she had left behind. It had been made clear that they didn't want her and she didn't need them. She had other things to think of, she told herself. She was no longer that young woman. That Taya had learned to live on the street and the scars of those lessons were on not only permanently in her soul but were also present in her body. The girl that she had been was long gone. Black Angel had taken her place. Taya looked around the restaurant again and put her past where it belonged, in the past. Why think about something that meant nothing?

She had made the reservation for 8pm, but she was early. Taya told the hostess she wanted a quiet table on the corner to the right. She was seated, and having ordered the expected Rum and Coke, Taya sat with her back to the wall. As soon as Rico entered the restaurant she saw him. Within seconds he was by her side. No need for introductions. It would have been insulting to pretend.

Taya stood up and they shook hands as they both sat. Rico then ordered Rum and Coke or as it was known to them both Cuba Libre.

"La comida Cubana aqui es excelente," Rico commented on the restaurant's food.

The conversation between both would be in their own language.

"Yes, the food here is great," Taya went straight into it as well.

"I hope that we do business for a long time. I am specially happy to do business with a fellow Cuban," Rico said as he took his glass and raised it.

Taya raised hers as well and they toasted to the beginning of a profitable future.

"How much?"

"You cut right to the chase mija," Rico commented with a smile.

"That's why we're here. How much per Kilo?"

Rico wrote a figure on his napkin.

"That's too much."

"It costs us a lot, Taya. I can let you have it for this…" he wrote on the napkin again. "Being my compatriota this is a special offer just for you."

"Still too much."

The waitress approached them. "Are you both ready to order?"

"Arroz con Pollo," Rico enthusiastically ordered chicken and rice. "They really do it justice here." He pointed out to Taya.

"I'll have the same with a side order of platanos maduros." She could not resist ordering the sweet fried plantains.

"Give me an order of those as well," Rico also added.

The waitress left them and Rico sat back and looked at Taya leaving no doubt of what he was thinking about.

"It's good to do business with your own kind," Rico said raising his glass again.

"Yes, we both know what the other is capable of," Taya said, smiling back as well.

"I see why they call you Black Angel," Rico laughed. "You are definitely lovely."

"I'm the last face they see. I hope that my name does not define our newly found...friendship," Taya said and suddenly the smile was gone and what Rico saw in those eyes made him suddenly sit up. In that moment he realized that all the stories he had heard were true. In front of him, staring at him now were the eyes of a cold-blooded killer and if the stories were true, a brilliant one.

Rico nodded and they got down to business. They agreed on a price and to an exchange of risk. This may work out after all, Taya thought to herself by the end of the night.

"Your family, they, all here in the United States?" Rico asked as he was eating.

Taya immediately looked him straight in the eyes. As soon as he saw her reaction he stopped chewing.

"You deal with me!" She growled between her teeth.

"Oye Taya, calmate consorte!" Rico tried calming her down.

"Tu y yo," she said as her face was within an inch of his. "You try to fuck me and I will cut off your balls and shove them down your throat," she growled between her teeth.

She pulled away slowly and then purred. "A toast, Rico. To money…to lots of it." She raised her glass. And then she did something unexpected she added. "And to Cuba libre."

"Cuba libre," Rico raised his glass and the partnership was solidified with the last part of the toast. After all, they were the same kind. He admired the fact that she was tough. As a partner she would probably last. They also shared an old struggle and that in a very real way, bound them. In sharing that there was strength and from that they could build.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

As soon as Taya road into her territory she could smell trouble. She looked around and could feel the tension as she passed the shadows. At that moment the Iron Monster roared and Taya headed for the new cutting room.

She walked into the safe house where they were bagging the newly arrived batch of rock candy….what names! But the candy was flying and the cash was pouring in. It was quickly becoming more popular than heroine, and cheaper. The more that customers got the more they wanted and that was, as they say, 'good for business'. Her powder didn't have any junk in it and for that assurance people paid.

Taya walked around the tables and saw that the packages were being weighed properly. She always made sure to make eye contact both with the cutters and the ones that weighed it. In that one look they both understood that if something went wrong Black Angel would know what they looked like.

Stanley approached her after she finished her inspection. "Taya, can I have a minute?"

Taya nodded and they walked over to a small room that had a few chairs and a table in it. Taya sat and Stanley followed.

"Who's dead?" She asked as she took out a cigarette and lit it.

Stanley stared at her for a moment then began to speak. "Nico…. Julian sliced him up but good. He took over his girls."

"Julian, the one that has Broadway and Pulaski Highway. right?" Taya said as she took a drag of her cigarette.

"Yeah. His stable covers both streets," Stanley confirmed.

Taya took another drag and remained quiet.

"And?" Taya finally asked.

"He sent me word that you would understand….that you both had an understanding. I didn't want to do anything until I spoke with you." Stanley waited patiently.

Fuck! Taya thought to herself trying to keep her anger in check. That stupid mother fucker. She took another drag of her cigarette as Stanley waited patiently.

"He said that he has what you want and it's yours to do with as you will. I was to give you that message." Stanley had heard some talk about one of the prostitutes but he was not about to acknowledge knowing anything.

Nico had crossed the line. He was making a move and it had to be dealt with quickly and efficiently. Order kept the wolves at bay…and Julian had kicked in the door.

Taya got up and opened the door. "Christopher! Come here." She stepped back in the room and closed it behind the man that had sprinted over.

"You have been with me for a long time," she said as she put the cigarette out.

"Yes Taya, I started on South Street and now I've been on the north delivery route for about two years."

"Good. Stanley get Pete and Martin, we're going to give Julian a visit. And Christopher…you ride with me." She walked out of the room and immediately both men sprang into action.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Three black cars pulled up and cut off any possible escape for Julian. Taya rode straight up to him. The Iron Monster roared loudly before she got off of it. Christopher got off with her, and stood right behind her.

"Taya…. good to see you," Julian said nervously. Some of the girls that were close by and took a few steps back to get closer to the wall and further away from Julian.

"You say you have something of mine, Cabron?" Taya said menacingly as she got closer to him.

"Taya, no! I said that she was yours, Taya. Everything of mine is yours." Julian was beginning to tremble.

"You don't have anything I want, you mother fucker!"

"Taya, I just meant that you seemed to like Belinda and…."

"I fucked a whore. And you think that that entitles you to take something without asking me first?" Taya took out her blade and Julian took a step back. His face began to sweat.

"Taya, I meant no disrespect…. I thought you liked her. She is one of my best earners. She is yours, Taya. You can fuck her to death…. she is yours. I know you enjoyed fucking her. Jesus Taya…I didn't mean anything by it." Julian was close to falling apart.

"You insult me, Julian. Are you suggesting that I deserve a whore?" Taya began playing with the blade in her hand.

"Fuck Taya, don't do it man. Please don't. I didn't mean to offend you;" he begged.

Taya walked up to him. She looked at him straight in the eye. "But you did offend me Julian," she said softly, then walked away from him.

Everyone's eyes were on Taya as she got back on her bike. They suddenly noticed Julian's body as it began to fall to the ground.

As he lay there, red quickly spread across his once white shirt. Taya simply put her blade in her jacket.

"Stanley," Taya said and he was immediately at her side. "Dust to dust," She smiled. Stanley nodded. "And Stanley, Christopher will take over Julian's and Nico's stables now."

Stanley looked at a surprised Christopher.

"Taya, thank you. I will be loyal Taya," Christopher added quickly.

"I know you will. Give Stanley his tribute. Always remember who you serve and the pens will run smoothly."

Christopher nodded and Stanley suddenly understood the brilliance of the move. They would all profit. Taya was becoming even more of a mystery to him. She was diabolically brilliant and he was glad that he was on her good side. All her actions had a purpose. There was no emotion in her at all. Christopher had been rewarded and he would also profit. There was no loss. Julian had made the mistake of making it personal and a lesson had been taught for all to hear loud and clear.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It had been a difficult morning. Eric woke up with a slight fever due to his cold so Barbara had asked Jean to take over the carpool to the lower school that morning. Eric was resting in the family room, wrapped in his favorite blanket, watching the morning cartoons. Barbara had gone to the kitchen to get the Tylenol Cold, where she usually kept it, to give Eric a dose. She hadn't been feeling like herself for awhile now either. She looked down at the Tylenol bottle and wished that there was something that she could take to take away the ache she felt inside.

Barbara had been preoccupied since that very disturbing call she received from Taya a few nights before. The call had caught her off guard somehow. It seemed so natural to just say goodnight. The incident was very present in her thoughts this morning. Of course it didn't help matters that Dale was grilling her every day about what seemed to be going on.

The doorbell rang and Barbara slowly walked over to answer it with the Tylenol bottle still in her hand. This time it did not catch her by surprise to find Taya standing there when she opened the door.

"Hi," Taya said softly, almost shyly.

"Hi," Barbara replied, smiling, surprising even herself. She looked at Taya in some detail for a moment. Somehow it seemed important to notice all the details of the woman in front of her.

"Can I come in, querida?" Taya then said huskily and waited.

Barbara stepped aside. Words didn't seem important at that moment. She closed the door and turned to face Taya. There was a silent understanding in what was not being said as if words held no meaning. Barbara seemed to be fighting a part of her that just wanted to look at the beautiful creature in front of her and not question why or why not.

"Tylenol?" Taya smiled a little as she took off her sunglasses and looked deeper into Barbara's eyes.

"Oh…." Barbara seemed to snap out of her momentary trance. "Eric has a slight fever."

"I have a cold." A small voice said from behind them.

Taya turned around and looked down.

"Hi Taya," Eric smiled.

"Hello sir. I hear you're sick." She knelt down in front of the boy.

"Yeah…" he said and he sneezed.

"God bless you," both Barbara and Taya said simultaneously.

Eric giggled. Taya got up and laughed too.

"Hey, you like cartoons?" He asked enthusiastically.

"Cartoons?" Taya asked

"Yeah, Cat and Dog is on. Come on, that one is my favorite." Eric grabbed her by the hand and began pulling. Taya smiled at Barbara who shook her head and smiled back.

Taya spent most of the morning watching cartoons with Eric. She found him to be a very bright and intriguing child. Were most boys his age like this? No…he was definitely not like most boys, Taya told herself.

Eric loved the attention of course but it was more than that, Barbara told herself later. Taya really listened to his detailed explanations about the most incredible things. Eric looked at her adoringly as she commented on things. Taya talked to him not at him or down to him. That was something that she had never been able to explain to Jeff. Taya had managed to surprise her yet again. As much as Barbara tried to put her in a box Taya just never seemed to fit into it; like a chameleon every time that Barbara saw her there was yet another aspect to this most intriguing woman.

Barbara was in the kitchen making Eric some soup for lunch when she heard laughter coming from the family room. Real laughter….deep and wonderful. She had not heard Eric laugh like that for so long. It felt good to hear him laugh like that again. And it warmed Barbara's heart. The last person she would have expected had made that happen.

Taya was more of an enigma to her than ever. Taya was something that had come into her life that seemed to be quickly becoming a piece of it. When Barbara walked into the family room about fifteen minutes later to call them for lunch she was surprised by what she found and she just stood and silently watched.

Taya had not heard her approaching. Eric had his head on her lap and was asleep. Barbara leaned against the doorframe and watched as Taya caressed her son's golden locks. She seemed so gentle at that moment as she caressed Eric lovingly. Taya then pulled the blanket to cover him better and smiled at the sleeping boy.

At that moment Barbara's heart gave an extra beat. When Taya looked up suddenly Barbara saw her eyes were soft and unguarded. Barbara looked back at her with such tenderness that it touched Taya's very soul. For a moment many things were said between them and yet not a word was spoken.

Barbara smiled and walked over towards them and helped Taya get up slowly so as not to wake up Eric. Taya was about to speak when she put her finger softly over her mouth.

Both women then walked back to the kitchen in silence.

"I made some soup. Do you like soup?" Barbara asked her with the most delightful smile Taya had ever seen on any woman's face.

"Yes," was all that she was able to say. Her heart was beating faster and faster and she felt as excited as a child and jumpy at the same time.

"Sit down. I'll get you some," Barbara said as she touched her arm briefly before walking over to the stove.

Taya sat as her eyes followed Barbara.

Barbara set the down the bowl of split pea soup in front of Taya. She got some utensils from the drawer close by.

"Are you having lunch with me?" Taya asked hopefully.

"Yes," Barbara smiled as she answered and went to get another bowl.

Barbara came back with her bowl of soup and they both started eating.

"It's good," Taya said as she looked up.

"Thank you."

They ate the rest of their lunch in silence. When they were both done Barbara began to pick up the plates and as she was retrieving the bowl in front of Taya, she found her hand been taken.

"Barbara," Taya said as she pulled Barbara down to her slowly. Their lips met for a light kiss. Such a small thing and yet it spoke volumes.

Barbara then straightened up.

"I came to give you this," Taya said as she stood up to stand next to Barbara and pulled out a piece of paper from her pocket.

Barbara put the bowl back down on the table and unfolded the white piece of paper. She read the contents and looked up at Taya.

"I'm sorry it took me a few days," Taya said, staring down at her boots.

"Thank you," Barbara said softly as she looked at the dark head of hair of the woman looking down in front of her.

Taya felt a hand close to her face and instinctively pulled away. She was looking straight at Barbara now. And again Barbara reached out slowly to touch her face, but this time Taya stood still.

"I don't understand you," Barbara said softly as she caressed the face of the woman before her.

Taya felt the light caress and her eyes closed as she leaned her face into it. When Taya's eyes opened again Barbara saw all of her passion and desire that Taya had for her in those eyes. She took a step towards it and her mouth came up beckoning, expecting.

"Barbara?" A voice brought them both back to reality.

Taya immediately took a step away from Barbara as Dale walked further into the kitchen. Dale stared at them with the certainty that she had walked in on something. Barbara looked like she wanted to hide and visibly paled as Taya just looked away.

"I…Hi," Dale said uncomfortably.

Barbara ran her fingers through her hair as she put more distance between her and Taya.

"I came to see how Eric was doing…. is everything okay?" Dale asked Barbara as she looked from one woman to the other.

"Yeah, I was just leaving," Taya said quickly not looking at anyone in particular. "Thanks for lunch." She wanted to put as much space as possible between her and Barbara. Something was happening…something had happened and she couldn't or didn't want to face it.

Taya grabbed her coat and turned to leave.

"Wait! You don't have to go…. I have some…" Barbara suddenly stopped talking and stared at Taya as she turned and faced her. "You don't have to go," she added softly.

"Thanks, but, I better go," Taya said and smiled. She walked over to Barbara, leaned down, kissed her on the cheek close to her ear, and whispered as she pulled away. "Goodbye querida mia."

Taya looked into Barbara's eyes for a moment and smiled then turned to leave.

"Nice to see you again, Dale," Taya said as she walked past her.

Dale stared at Taya as she left, then turned back to Barbara.

"Okay, you wanna tell me what the hell is going on here?" Barbara began to tell her when Eric walked in.

"Hi Aunt Dale," said a sleepy little boy. "Where is Taya, mama?"

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Taya walked into her apartment and stood in the middle of her small living room for the better part of thirty minutes. She just stood still, thinking, remembering, regretting and then she took a deep breath and closed her eyes as her head fell back.

She straightened up, walked over to the sofa, and sat down with her coat still on.

"Damn. Damn. Damn," she said to herself as she leaned her head back on the sofa and closed her eyes again. Then she sat up straight and leaned forward holding both her hands. "I should have known better…God!" She covered her face with her hands trying to hide the woman within, from what she could no longer hide even from herself.

Are you having lunch with me? Taya ridiculed herself. "Jesus Christ! I acted like a…..what the fuck is wrong with me?"

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Barbara had taken Eric back to the family room. When she walked back into the kitchen she saw Dale reading the paper Taya had brought her.

Dale looked up immediately and Barbara just froze on the spot.

"Barbara?" Dale held out the piece of paper.

Barbara walked over and took it from her. She folded it and put it in the pocket of her slacks.

"Barbara?"

"What Dale? What?" Barbara turned towards her sister.

"Explain."

"Why? Why do I have to explain this or anything to you?" Barbara said angrily. "I love you, Dale, but frankly this is none of your business. Stay out of it!" Barbara turned and went to start getting a tray for Eric.

Dale was silent as Barbara prepared the tray for Eric's lunch. She sat down, trying to figure out what to say or not to say, or whether she should or should not say anything!

Barbara took the tray over to Eric and came back to find Dale sitting still in the kitchen.

"Barb?" Dale spoke softly. "It's a VD/AIDS test."

"Yes it is, Dale," Barbara faced it straight on. "And none of your business."

"Barbara…when I came in…" Dale spoke slowly, waiting to see her sister's reaction.

"Do you want to have lunch, Dale?" Barbara did not look away for a moment. And that was more frightening than asking the questions that were dancing around in her mind.

"Yes, thanks, I do."

"Good, lunch I can do." Barbara turned to get another bowl of soup.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"I don't understand this obsession you seem to have with Barbara's life. So you found a VD/AIDS Test Dale…. she was probably afraid that Jeff might have given her something. She was just being responsible and finding out if she was infected or something," Rob argued.

"Rob, it wasn't her test." Dale explained to her husband

"What do you mean? Who's was it then?" He turned to face her.

"She has this new friend. Her name is Taya, it was her test, and…I don't know. I can't really figure it out. Barbara said they met at counseling."

"Barbara is going to counseling?"

"That's just it…it doesn't add up. She says she is, but she never said anything to me about it. This whole thing with Jeff has her acting strangely. And Taya is, well…. she seems nice enough, but, at the same time there is something about her that scares me a little."

"Why do you think that is, sweetheart?" Rob walked over to his wife and took her in his arms.

"Taya just doesn't seem like the type of person that Barbara usually makes friends with. I worry about her Rob, she's my kid sister. I have always looked out for her."

"I know sweetheart but, Barbara is a big girl. I would bet this whole thing with Rob has made her rethink a lot of things."

"Yes, you're probably right. My mind is working overtime, huh?" Dale smiled and looked up.

Rob leaned down and kissed her lightly on the lips.

"You love her and you worry, that's just you."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Muffled sounds brought her out of a sound sleep. Getting up, she felt the cold floor beneath her feet. She was always cold since they had gotten to the United States. Getting the blanket from her bed, and put it over her shoulders and tiptoed slowly towards the raised voices coming from outside her room.

She opened the door slightly and through the crack she could see her older sister sitting on the sofa and her mother crying. Fear suddenly filled her small body, as it had before they had come to get them that night in Cuba a few days before they came to America. There had been crying then too. Her grandmother had told her mother in no uncertain terms that she must go and take her children to freedom…the opportunity might not come again. Her mother had been crying then too. Taya missed her grandmother. There were a lot of good things in the United States, but it wasn't home. She was always cold and her father was not the same.

Keeping quiet, she tried to listen. From the corner of her eye she could see her father.

"I don't love you anymore," her father said bluntly. "I want Dolores."

"The children Tomas, what about the children?" Her mother asked as she wept.

"Dolores is pregnant," he blurted out. "I'm sorry."

"And our children? What about them? You promised me that if I came to America you would leave her and we would be a family. I believed you, Tomas!"

"I can't divorce her. She's my wife. You always knew that!"

"Taya won't understand," her mother emphasized. "She doesn't know."

"Dolores was not able to give me children in Cuba. But now she is pregnant." He said making it sound like that was all that mattered. Saying nothing, he just walked out. Her mother tried to go after him.

"Mama, we don't need him. Let him go. He doesn't want us, Mama!" Her sister Laura said as she stopped their mother from running after their father. "Let him go with that whore…we will be just fine without him."

"Laura, you all need a father. Francisco is already getting in trouble and your sister is headstrong. I don't want you to have to leave school," Her mother said between tears.

"Mama, he's gone. We're on our own. And we will survive it just fine. He has never loved us mama."

"Taya will not understand. She adores him."

"Taya will be just fine. I will talk to her. We don't have to tell her that he has abandoned us, Mama, she will be fine." Laura tried to reassure her mother.

Closing the door she went back to bed. She stared up at the ceiling till it was morning. Her sister Laura tried talking to her the next morning but she didn't want to listen. Taya never asked about her father again and they never tried to talk to her about it. They all thought it was better that way.

Taya had been awake most of the night as memories seemed to be coming to her from all directions. Memories that she thought were long forgotten. Memories that still were able to hurt her. And as much as she told herself she was no longer that young girl…. something inside her still felt the pain. She stared at the ceiling all night as she had done that night. Until it suddenly became important to move. She got up quickly and began to dress. She would go to have breakfast with Barbara.

Taya flew through the pens towards something else. She didn't want to think about why she was running to Barbara. All she knew was that seeing Barbara would make her stop hurting. Fighting this attraction was less important than quenching the hunger of the endless pit inside her. When she was with Barbara she didn't think, she didn't remember, she didn't have to be constantly looking to see where the next blow was coming from. In Barbara she found some peace. She didn't think about all this of course, she just hurt and Barbara for now was the painkiller.

She was ringing Barbara's doorbell within forty-five minutes. Taya was impatient and rang the bell again. When the door opened and she saw the blond woman in front of her she was able to breathe more calmly.

"Are you alone? Can I come in?"

Barbara nodded and Taya walked in. Taya walked into the middle of the living room then turned around. Barbara stood near by just looking at her; somehow she sensed that there was something wrong. Taya removed her sunglasses and slowly walked over to her. She scanned Barbara's face as if searching for something.

Taya seemed somewhat lost for a moment. Barbara then embraced her gently. Taya stood with her arms on her sides wanting and yet not daring to raise her arms. Then after a moment her head went down to Barbara's shoulder and her arms came up. When she felt Barbara's embrace tighten her body began to shake and the tears began slowly. The tears gradually became sobbing. Barbara held her tightly as she caressed her hair gently.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Taya woke up to noise. She sat up quickly and looked around in confusion. Then she remembered how she and Barbara had sat on the sofa. She must have cried herself to sleep in Barbara's arms.

"Eric give me the control. I can get that fireball for you," Sean insisted.

"I can do it myself, Sean. Don't be so loud, you're going to wake up Taya."

"Taya's awake."

Both boys turned around and ran over to her, the video game forgotten.

"Did we wake you up?" Sean asked as a mischievous smile was forming.

"Hmmm…" She tried to look censorious.

"I'm sorry, Taya." Sean looked a bit remorseful.

"Don't worry about it kid. What are you playing over there anyway?"

"It's a video game. We are saving the galaxy from alien invaders," Eric said enthusiastically.

"Never played a video game," Taya said thoughtfully.

Sean and Eric looked at one another then back at Taya.

"Wanna play?" Eric asked as he jumped on the sofa to sit next to her.

"I'll teach you. I'm really good at this game," Sean interrupted.

"Yeah, sure," Taya sat on the floor as Sean handed her the hand controller.

"You put your fingers here."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"They woke you up huh?" Barbara asked as she leaned on the doorframe.

Three sets of eyes looked up at her from the floor.

"Oh no, I woke up all by myself," Taya, Sean, and Eric smiled at one another. "I'm fighting the alien invaders."

"I can see that." Barbara smiled. "Dinner will be ready in about 15 minutes." She turned around to leave when Taya called out to her.

"Barbara?"

Barbara then turned towards her again.

"Thank you."

Barbara then smiled. "You're welcome. I hope you like Fetucinni Alfredo."

"Yeah, I do."

"Good, now hurry up and save the world. Dinner is almost ready."

Taya smiled as she saw Barbara walking away.

What is it about her?

"Taya! They're coming!"

Taya then turned towards the TV. "Get those nukes ready, Sean."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

That night as Taya lay in her bed she remembered the day and she smiled. It had been so long since she had just felt good. It wasn't that she didn't like kids; she did. They were just generally boring. But Eric and Sean were different she told herself. They were smart, funny, and they were great to be with. They had all had dinner together and it had been like nothing she had ever experienced. Barbara and the kids talked about things like history and documentaries. What had impressed her the most was how it was just so obvious how much they loved each other. And the most unexpected thing of all was how they had included her.

Yeah, they're great kids, Taya thought. How could they not be; every time she looked at them she saw Barbara in their eyes.

Taya picked up her cell phone and dialed.

"Hello?"

"Good night Barbara," Taya said softly.

"Good night Taya. Sleep well."

She closed the cell phone and smiled softly into the darkness. For the first time in a very long time Taya closed her eyes and slept soundly. No nightmares came to haunt her that night, only rest, much needed rest.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

As Taya pulled up on her bike Christopher walked over to her.

"Taya, anything I can do for you?" He asked looking towards the girls.

Taya leaned forward and smiled. Belinda stared back at her and smiled, her importance having grown as she kept telling the story of how she had been fought over.

"No thanks. How are things going? Any trouble?"

"Nothing I can't handle. Business is good." Christopher smiled.

"Words I love to hear. Later." Taya's Iron Monster roared as she rode away. Belinda's eyes followed her.

"Hey, I thought you were her woman now, B?"

"I'm suppose to meet her later, Casey," Belinda barked back defensively.

"They say she has an upscale piece of ass now."

"Who said that?"

"That's the word on the street. What I heard was that Jake tried to touch that piece of ass and he kind of went into lala land, if you know what I mean." Casey raised her eyebrows.

"That was before me," Belinda argued.

"Didn't look like she was interested to me." Casey laughed as she walked away towards the curb.

Belinda then walked over to Christopher. "Chris, I have to leave early tonight."

"And why is that?"

"Taya wants me."

"Didn't say anything to me about it."

"You wanna have her come get me cause I'm not there later?" Belinda mouthed off.

"All right. You can split early."

Belinda smiled like the cat that swallowed the Canary. She knew what Taya liked and she would use that. Taya was her ticket off the corner.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Hi," Taya said to Barbara.

Barbara smiled. "Hi, come on in."

"I got these new games for Sean and Eric. The guy at Toys R Us said that they were the latest." Taya said as she walked into the house.

"They're with their father. He picked them up about thirty minutes ago."

"Oh."

"They spend the weekend with him every other weekend. Well, when he is available anyway."

"Well, here," Taya handed her the shopping bag. "The guy at the store said these were the most popular games. I thought that, well, maybe they would like them." Taya seemed more uncomfortable by the second.

"I'm sure they will love them. Thank you."

"Do you have any plans for dinner?" Taya asked looking away with her sunglasses still on.

"Just eating," Barbara said jokingly.

"You like Chinese?" Taya asked as she looked down at her boots.

"Yes."

"You wanna go with me, maybe?" Taya kept staring at her boots.

Barbara smiled. "Are you asking me out on a date?"

Taya looked up immediately, but said nothing. Then to Barbara's surprise Taya nodded. "Do you want to?" The words came out with a little uncertainty.

"Yes," Barbara answered softly.

Taya smiled a little then her face lit up from within. "Good."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

They decided that it was best to take Barbara's car since it looked like it might start to rain. They went to a Chinese Restaurant in downtown Upper Montclair that Barbara had heard from Jean had excellent food.

For a few hours, without discussing it, neither woman spoke about how they had met or were they came from. It began with the little things, the small gestures, and gradually it became easy. There was a feeling that both shared that had no name and did not need to be spoken of. They each recognized something within the other that called out to them.

And sometime during the night Barbara realized as she looked at Taya speaking that it was more than sexual. Taya was mystery and gentleness, roughness and tenderness all rolled into one. And Taya was beautiful. Barbara stared at her hands for a moment and quickly looked away. Taya's hands were magic.

As Taya spoke she was amazed at just how easy it was to talk to Barbara and what became the most obvious was how long it had been since she had spoken to anyone like this at all. She didn't have to worry if there were any ulterior motives because there weren't. And Barbara's eyes…she could get lost in Barbara's eyes. By the time they finished eating Taya was looking for any excuse to lengthen the time.

"I'll have to tell Dale and Mom about this place," Barbara commented.

"The food here is pretty good."

"Do you have any brothers or sisters?" Barbara asked out of nowhere. Taya seemed to become a statue. Barbara waited patiently.

"Two, one brother and one sister" Taya began to shift uncomfortably in her chair.

"Do you see them often?"

"No."

Barbara waited but Taya added nothing else. Taya began to look bored.

"It's late, we better get going." Barbara started getting up. Taya could tell that her lack of enthusiasm had upset Barbara somehow. But her family was an issue that Taya was uncomfortable with discussing.

"Do you want some dessert?"

"I don't think I can eat another thing," Barbara answered sullenly. "And it looks like the weather is getting worse." She looked out of the window closest to her.

"Yeah, you're right. We better go." Taya got up suddenly and threw a few twenty-dollar bills on the table.

The drive back to the house was made in silence. When they pulled into the driveway and Barbara turned off the car she realized that Taya was just sitting staring straight ahead and didn't seem to want to move.

"Taya? Are you okay?" Barbara asked with concern in her voice.

"I haven't seen them in over fifteen years."

Barbara sat quietly and listened in the darkness that enveloped them inside the car.

"Where are they?"

"In another world," Taya said sadly then turned to Barbara and added looking straight at her. "In your world."

"Taya…"

"Barbara, I can't…I don't want to talk about this" Taya then pulled away from her. "I was something they put out with the trash okay? I don't need them."

Barbara placed her hand on Taya's briefly before Taya pulled hers away. "I'm the person that doesn't get introduced at family functions. I'm the wrong sort, Barbara," She added with sarcasm. "Come on, I'll walk you in then I gotta go." Taya got out of the car quickly.

They walked up to the front door in silence. Barbara unlocked it and as she went in she turned around. Taya took a step closer and Barbara switched the overhead light on. Taya then pulled back getting the message loud and clear. They both stood looking at each other for a moment in silence.

Barbara switched off the overhead light and Taya came up to her, took her in her arms, and kissed her passionately. Barbara pulled away and, still holding Taya's hand, pulled her inside and closed the door behind them.

"Are you sure?" Taya surprised herself by asking.

"Yes, I'm more than sure," Barbara said before she pulled Taya into a passionate kiss of her own.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"I want to look at you," Taya said as she stood by the nightstand.

Barbara nodded. Then Taya walked over slowly and began to unbutton Barbara's blouse all the while looking into those deep blue eyes. Suddenly she stopped and stared at Barbara for a moment.

"Your eyes…"

"Yes?"

"They're not blue."

"Yes, they are," Barbara said softly and smiled.

"No, they are different shades of green and blue surrounded by golden sparks," Taya elaborated still looking further.

Barbara then raised her hand and touched Taya's face with a full heart. "Who are you?" She asked softly in wonder.

"Nobody," Taya whispered.

"You're somebody to me," Barbara walked into Taya's embrace and kissed her.

Their lovemaking was passionate but in between the blinding desire to satisfy there was tenderness and softness. They made love into the night. Both pleased and were pleased. Afterward, Barbara lay in Taya's embrace.

"Taya?"

"Yes?"

"I want to go inside you."

Barbara felt Taya stiffen. Taya sat up on the bed and Barbara sat up too.

"I have never let anyone touch me. When I told you that there was no chance about the…..it was because no one had ever…." Taya trailed off.

Barbara took in all the information in silence.

"You…"

"I have been the only one that has touched you? And my mouth has been….?"

"The only one," Taya said as she looked away even further. Why had she told Barbara? She didn't want this. She didn't want to be here.

Barbara wasn't sure how to react or what to say. This was something she had never expected from Taya. And perhaps that was what hit her the hardest. What did she really know about Taya?

"Taya…"

"I can't talk about this right now, Barbara," Taya got up and started getting dressed.

"You can't or you won't?"

"Fine then, I won't," Taya said flippantly.

I gotta get out of here, Taya told herself as she dressed quickly.

"I'm just another fuck to you," Barbara said as she ran her fingers through her hair. "Jesus, don't I ever learn?"

Taya then looked at the woman sitting on the bed. There were a million things she suddenly wanted to say and yet nothing was coming out of her mouth.

"Get out," Barbara said wearily.

"Barbara…"

"Just go."

Taya placed a card on the nightstand. "My cell number."

Barbara looked up at her. "You don't have a phone."

Taya did not look away as Barbara smiled and shook her head. "Of course you have a cell phone. You always did, didn't you?"

"Yes."

"God, just get out. Please get out," Barbara cried as she covered her face. Taya closed the door behind her and ran down the stairs and out the door.

As soon as Barbara heard the bike roar her anguish seemed to grow. Taya had taken all she wanted and now she was gone.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Taya rode for hours. It didn't matter where she was going she just wanted to feel the distance. Tears ran down her face unchecked. She had told herself over and over again that it didn't matter, that Barbara was just a good fuck, but she knew it wasn't true. She had known from the very first moment she had looked into those eyes that something inside her had shifted. And now, Barbara wanted in, inside her body, inside her life, inside her soul, and all those places Barbara could not be allowed to enter. What would she see? And how could Taya ever expect her to understand. She was what she was and nothing could ever change that.

Taya finally got to her apartment in the early evening. All the shadows of her past and her present seemed to be looming closer than usual. And for the first time she didn't care if they enveloped her. She had made her choices and it was too late to change them now. She could no more be a part of Barbara's world than Barbara could be part of hers. And that left them both exactly nowhere.

She walked into the apartment, and looked around at the emptiness, and for the first time she saw what Barbara must have seen. Emptiness, she was surrounded by emptiness. How long had she just existed? Where had the years gone? Taya asked herself and at that moment there was a knock on her door.

Taya turned and pulled the door open. Caution was something that did not seem to matter at that moment. Belinda smiled as she stood in front of the Black Angel.

"I waited for you all night and most of the day," Belinda purred.

"I'm not aware we had an appointment," Taya said sarcastically.

"You look tense. I can relieve the ache that fills you."

Taya walked into the room and Belinda closed the door behind her. Sitting down, Taya stared at the blonde in front of her. She pulled out a cigarette and lit it as she watched Belinda. She took a long drag and let out the smoke slowly.

"Do you want it here?"

Taya just kept staring and said nothing while she smoked.

"I can be very good to you. I will let you do anything," Belinda said as she walked closer.

"Why are you here?"

"I want to belong to the Black Angel," Belinda said seductively. "I want to be fucked raw by you baby."

"And if I were nobody?" Taya asked.

Belinda seemed confused. "You are somebody. You are Black Angel. You are life and death."

Taya smiled ironically and put out her cigarette with disgust written on her face. "Yes, I am life and death. I hurt someone today." She sat back.

Taya then pulled out her gun and put it on her lap with her finger in the trigger. Belinda froze. "Wanna play with life and death?" Taya asked her with a look of pure evil.

Belinda shook her head dumbly.

"Smart girl. Now get out of here."

Belinda grabbed the jacket she had put on the chair close by on her way out the door.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Dale noticed that Barbara had been more quite than usual. There was a sadness about her that was undeniable.

Every time the phone rang Barbara almost seemed to dread picking it up. Dale had gotten several concerned calls from her mother.

"Dale, there is something wrong and she is not talking," Joan Barrett, Barbara's and Dale's mother, said.

"I know mom. I have tried to get her to talk to me but she won't budge. I'm getting worried about her."

"Do you think it's something to do with Jeff that she is not saying?"

"No, she did tell me about the hidden investments and all that. That upset her but, there is something else going on and she just won't talk," Dale said in frustration.

"I'm going over there right now. Barbara always was too stubborn." Joan told her oldest daughter. "I'll call you when I get back."

"Okay Mom, good luck."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Almost a week had gone by and Taya kept telling herself that this pain inside her would also pass. She picked up the phone many times only to put it away again. She unlike the addicts of the white powder would not allow this desire to become her master. She had no ties to anyone and she liked it that way. But the nights…the nights she had no control over. There Barbara would come to her each and every night to tempt her, touch her and make her wake up full of a need that she was finding unbearable to live with.

As much as Barbara dreaded the phone when it rang she longed to answer it. And she had to admit that a part of her felt certain sadness every time she answered it and it was not Taya.

Barbara told herself over and over again that she would not look the other way like she had with Jeff. She wanted Taya. Her body reminded her of that every moment of every day. But Taya had too many secrets. There were too many possibilities for lies. When the moment presented itself Taya had turned away and run off. She had had enough problems dealing with Jeff to get into a relationship with someone that was not willing to even discuss the most basic things. Taya guarded her life, her past, anything to do with the personal in a way that the only conclusion possible to a relationship with her was fear. A relationship? With Taya? Yes, Barbara had to admit to herself. She would have taken a chance. She had never felt what she felt for Taya with anyone, not even Jeff. And of course that led her to the conclusion that yes, she would have taken a chance, against all the odds she would have taken a chance. But, what chance could one possibly take with a ghost.

Barbara suddenly realized that's what Taya was, a ghost. She seemed to exist without rhyme or reason, with out a past, a present, or a future. What kind of life could one have with someone that didn't seem to exist? And yet, Taya made her feel alive.

Barbara shook her head. It was best this way, she told herself over and over again. The ache would eventually cease and her life would go back to what it had been before, predictable.

At that moment the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"I need to see you," a voice filled with controlled passion whispered over the phone. Barbara didn't have to ask who it was. Taya's voice was unmistakable. It had been branded into her very being and there it resided in a place that even she could not reach so that she could tear it out.

"I can't do this, Taya. I don't want to." Barbara tried to convince even herself as she said the words.

"You know you like it when I touch you,

querida," Taya's voice was seductive and it made Barbara close her eyes. "We can keep it simple. Just mutual satisfaction."

"Get a whore off a street corner," Barbara blurted and Taya could tell that what she had said had stung.

"Barbara…"

"No," Barbara answered softly.

"Please…" Taya's plea came as a whisper. There was a moment of silence. "Barbara…" Taya could not hide the emotion that was coming through in her voice.

Does she want me as much as I want her? Barbara asked herself. She closed her eyes.

"I'm coming tonight." Suddenly Taya's voice turned to anger as she spoke. "My body aches for you…. I feel you mouth on my skin Barbara. I am burning and I know that you are too." Her voice was no longer asking. "I'm coming."

Barbara remained silent as a battle for what her body craved and what her head argued against was being fought. "No Taya."

Gently Barbara put down the receiver. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply.

It had to end, she told herself.

Barbara was shaken out of her thoughts as the phone began ringing again.

"I said no," she said immediately into the phone.

"No to what, Barbara?" Dale said from the other end.

Shit! Barbara thought. "It was a sales call, Dale. Sorry."

At that moment the doorbell rang.

"Dale, someone's at the door. I gotta go," She didn't want to do battle with her sister right now. She was tired of avoiding questions right and left from Dale.

"Yeah, it's Mom," Dale added guiltily.

"Mom?"

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Taya, the candy will be on the street tomorrow."

"Why tomorrow? Why not tonight Stanley?" Taya asked irritably.

"We haven't finished bagging it yet, Taya."

"Every minute the shit is not on the street we loose money, Stanley. What the fuck is taking so long? Fucking shit, Stanley! If you can handle this just tell me!"

"Taya, man, calm down. We have to take our time and weight it." Stanley had been dealing with her foul mood for days now.

Taya looked at him like she was going to throttle him.

"I wanna make sure it's done right, Taya. If we get sloppy we start to mess up."

Stanley immediately realized the error of what he had said.

"You pretend to show me how to run my business?"

"Fuck no! Nobody can or will ever run the pens like you. You got a monkey on your back, Taya. Just cut it off." Stanley tried to reason with her and to his surprise she seemed to rein in her anger.

"No later than tomorrow, Stanley," she said as she walked out.

"Fuck…" Stanley thought he was going to piss his pants. "Fuck."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Taya got on her bike and she sat for a moment.

Cut the monkey off your back, Stanley had said. Taya kicked the bike into life and rode towards nowhere. Nowhere always took her to what she knew, the street. What had she thought? This was her life; the pens, the games, the white, and the whores. This was her world and she liked it. Here she was Black Angel and she was beholding to none. She had all she needed. She had all she wanted. And if she didn't have it all all she had to do was take it.

She pulled up to one of Christopher's corners. Taya saw Belinda and called her over. Belinda walked towards the Black Angel with both anticipation and fear. Taya was here and she was calling for her.

"Want some company?" Belinda asked her with a smile.

"That depends," Taya said as she stared hungrily at the barely covered breasts in front of her. "I wanna work off some anger. You up for it?"

"I can do that."

"Get on."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Continued in Part Four